IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2

Some people believe that museums and historic sites should be open for free for children under 18 years of age. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #museums #sites #children #years #age
The line graph illustrates the
proportion
 of elders from 1940 to 2040 in three different countries, namely
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
,
Sweden
 and Japan. There are similar upward trends
show
Wrong verb form
shown
show examples
 in
USA
 and
Sweden
. Before the year
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1980, the
population
 of the elder in the
USA
 increased from 9
%
in 1940 to 15% in 1980. The
proportion
 of
elder
Correct article usage
the elder
show examples
population
fluctated
Correct your spelling
fluctuated
fluctuate
 between 13% and 15% until 2020. It will rise to around 22% in the
next
 two decades.
However
, the elder
population
 in
Sweden
 exceeded
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 in 1997, and it reached 20% in 2010. the trend in
Sweden
 is predicted that it will dig in around 2030 and
growth
Replace the word
grow
show examples
 to the top with 25% in 2040. Japanese elders
proportion
 had a different trend. the elder
population
 decreased from 6% in 1940 to approximately 4% in 1960. There was a
plataue
Correct your spelling
plate
plateau
 maintained until 1985 and increased dramatically afterword.
This
 figure is predicted to reach
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 peak of 27% in 2040. Overall, Japan was the least elder
population
 country, and it will become the highest
proportion
 of elders among the three countries.
Submitted by kevinchiua on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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