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Writing Samples
Band 7

It is now possible for scientists and tourists to travel to remote natural areas, such as the South Pole. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

It is often argued that now it is possible for
scientists
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 and tourists to travel to rural
areas
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 has both advantages and disadvantages.
This
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 essay will examine the positive and negative aspects before giving a reasoned conclusion. On the one hand, travel to remote
areas
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 offers several benefits.
Firstly
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, it allows
scientists
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 to study unique environments and climate changes, which is essential for understanding our planet.
This
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 is because
,
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apply
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 it can lead to important discoveries that help protect our natural world.
For example
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, planting more trees helps protect our environment and surroundings. If people consume fewer green resources,
then
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 pollution and deforestation decrease.
Furthermore
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, tourism in these
areas
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 can lead to a rise in awareness about environmental issues which is beneficial for motivating people to care about protecting nature.
As a result
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, it can boost local economies, as it creates jobs for guides,
scientists
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, and local businesses.
This
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 can improve living standards in or near these
areas
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.
On the other hand
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, there are some drawbacks associated with travelling to remote locations. One major disadvantage is that increased human presence can harm delicate ecosystems.
This
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 occurs because tourists may disturb wildlife, leave litter, and contribute to pollution in these untouched
areas
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. Studies have shown that
scientists
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 working in remote
areas
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 may be limited by access to resources and facilities, which can make their research more difficult. If there is over-tourism, people will cause environmental stress.
Therefore
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, it's our duty to preserve our environment. In conclusion,
although
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 remote travelling has significant advantages, its disadvantages cannot be overlooked. In my opinion, the benefits outweigh the drawbacks, provided that the ecosystem is managed properly.

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task achievement
Your introduction states the topic clearly, but you could make your position more clear by summarizing your opinion right away.
task achievement
In the second paragraph, providing a specific example, like mentioning a particular location or a recent study, could strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use linking words more often to connect your ideas smoothly, for example, 'Additionally' or 'Moreover.' This helps with the flow of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
For the conclusion, restate your main points slightly differently to reinforce your argument.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear structure with a good introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task achievement
You present both sides of the argument, showing balance in your points of view.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • scientists
  • tourists
  • remote
  • natural
  • areas
  • South Pole
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • development
  • travel
  • study
  • environment
  • climate
  • change
  • research
  • discoveries
  • protect
  • wildlife
  • ecosystems
  • economies
  • jobs
  • businesses
  • presence
  • harm
  • disturb
  • pollution
  • stress
  • overcrowding
  • landscape
  • facilities
  • findings
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