IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

People today generally have better lives than people in the past did. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #lives
People
’s lifestyles have drastically changed over the past decades. Most
people
 are living a more modern lifestyle than before, thanks to improvements in technology and healthcare. In my point of view,
people
’s lives are better than their ancestors’ in some aspects,
while
 it is
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
converse in other aspects. With respect to modern facilities,
people
 are living a more convenient life by using new tools and gadgets which facilitate their transportation, safety and health.
For instance
, they are taking advantage of faster and more reliable transportation vehicles than before.
Moreover
, modern buildings and civic infrastructure keep
people
 safer than in ancient times.
Also
, with the advent of new medicines and drugs, life expectancy soared noticeably, even in developing countries. As another instance, the infant mortality rate dropped about tenfold during the past century
as a result
 of extreme growth in healthcare.
In contrast
, when it comes to the drawbacks of a new lifestyle, it has deteriorated from
social
Correct article usage
a social
show examples
 relations view. Nowadays, individuals are more isolated than in past decades which is a consequence of the modern era.
People
 work harder to make
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
ends meet and
as a result
, they do not have adequate time to spend with their families and friends.
In addition
, some cultural norms
such
 as community service and self-sacrificing are vanishing because of overworking. Not only
this
 but
also
 the families have become smaller and the family support for children is less than before. In conclusion,
although
 from some perspectives the standard of living has improved in recent decades, it has declined from other perspectives.
People
 live a more technological and safer life, but they suffer from social problems.
Submitted by Serhii Baraniuk on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure that you address all parts of the question and express a clear opinion. Plus, provide a well-developed answer that is relevant to the task.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion. Work on enhancing the link between your paragraphs and include more specific and relevant supporting details to improve coherence and cohesion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Familiarity
  • Comfort
  • Social ties
  • Family ties
  • Belonging
  • Resources
  • Opportunities
  • Fear
  • Unknown
  • Financial constraints
  • Cultural attachment
  • Language barriers
  • Limited education
  • Skills
What to do next:
Look at other essays: