IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely.

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In recent decades, with the growth in the scientific and academic worlds, sharing what kind of information for free in various fields is a matter of debate.
As a result
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, there are two schools of thought on the issue. One group supposes that all data should be published freely for people,
while
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 others claim that some are vital to share without any payment. Both of these attitudes will be discussed in
this
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 essay
in addition
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 to my own perspectives. Primarily, researchers should know that sharing whatever they reach with others can provide novel ideas on that topic, and
as a result
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, the speed of innovation on it is increased.
For instance
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, fast progression in some fields
such
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 as physics or medicine, can influence people's lives directly.
Secondly
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, all individuals who work in a specific field including experts or beginners, are able to comprehend an idea,
consequently
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, they will enhance the idea owing to frequent feedback.
In contrast
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, some information can be utilized in the wrong way. To make it clear, some fields including chemistry or mechanics are too dangerous if they have been used for making guns or bombs.
Moreover
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, it is an undeniable fact that some companies are willing to invest a huge money amount to obtain valuable data
that is
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 necessary for their work and brands, without which, they will not be able to compete with their rivals.
For instance
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, mobile phone companies
such
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 as Apple and Samsung, spend a lot of money to bring the latest knowledge as an expected outcome, they try to personalize these data. In conclusion, concerning what has been discussed, I hold a firm belief that significant and crucial knowledge should not be released free of charge.

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Consider using more linking words to connect sentences and ideas more clearly.
task achievement
Strive for more precise language to express your ideas. Occasionally, the essay's explanations are broad and could benefit from more specificity.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, helping to frame the overall argument effectively.
task achievement
The essay covers both viewpoints of the topic, which demonstrates a good understanding and addresses task requirements.
task achievement
Examples used, such as those about mobile phone companies, effectively illustrate key points discussed.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • information sharing
  • scientific research
  • business
  • academic world
  • advancement of knowledge
  • progress
  • collaboration
  • cross-disciplinary research
  • open access
  • democratization of information
  • transparency
  • credibility
  • intellectual property
  • security concerns
  • commercial interests
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