IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Present a written argument or case to an educated reader with no specialist knowledge of the following topic: The idea of having a single career is becoming an old fashioned one. The new fashion will be to have several careers or ways of earning money and further education will be something that continues throughout life. Use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. You should write at least 250 words.

#argument #case #reader #specialist #topic #idea #career #fashion #careers #money #education #life #support #arguments #evidence
There were times where children used to say, "I want to become a doctor or engineer". There were
also
 times where fathers used to be
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businessmen
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business men
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businessmen
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, doctors or farmers and mothers mostly used to be either
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homemakers
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home makers
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homemakers
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 or teachers. But these are the times where a father is a
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businessman
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business man
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businessman
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, doctor, investor and what not!
Also
Add a comma
,Also
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 a mother is a
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homemaker
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home maker
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homemaker
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,
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businesswoman
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business woman
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businesswoman
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, tailor etc. With changing technology has come changing generations, to be more precise updated generations. My points below would explain in detail why a single career is boring and having several careers is interesting. Previous generations used to spend most of the
time
 either working or playing outdoor games or talking with each other. They can only learn when their teacher teaches the subject in the classroom. They don't have
much
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many
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 options not only to learn something new quickly but to actually learn
also
. So, their knowledge used to be limited and accustomed to
choose
Wrong verb form
choosing
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 the career path based on their skills. When it comes to
current
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the current
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 generation, they have mobiles, laptops,
ipads
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pads
 and many more. They gain
lot
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a lot
show examples
 of knowledge
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apply
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with in
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within
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 no
time
. No teaching in person is required, everything is available online. So, they tend to learn quick, work swift due to which they save
lot
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a lot
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 of
time
. Because of the availability of plenty of free
time
,
current
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the current
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 generation is habituated to involve and update themselves with knowledge in all areas. Having
such
 grip and awareness on things makes them fit in multiple professions. We see
lot
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a lot
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 of pubs, high-five hotels, restaurants and
many
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much
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 more interesting hangout places these days which were not there before.
Increase
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An increase
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 in
such
 new starts increases
wide
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a wide
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 variety of professions.
World
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The world
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 is changing day by day. For people to survive in
Add a hyphen
fast-changing
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fast
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a fast
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 changing world, learning and
practicing
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practising
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is
Change the verb form
are
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 crucial. So, educating ourselves is continuous
throught
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through
throughout
thought
 life. To conclude, being adaptable is necessary, not optional in
this
 changing world. So, choosing several careers to earn money is an
actual
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actually
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 interesting and enthusiastic thing unlike being boring and sticking to the same career
throught
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through
throughout
thought
out
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our
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 life and
more over
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moreover
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 it disconnects us from many things around. Stay updated and stay in
synced
Change the form of the verb
sync
show examples
!!
Submitted by ksaicharani95 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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