IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Due to development and rapid expansion supermarkets in some countries, many small, local businesses are unable to compete. some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#development #expansion #supermarkets #countries #businesses #people #closure #business #death #communities
There is currently a contentious argument over whether the increasing rate of developing large businesses disappears local cultures
as a result
 of destroying the small local trades. I totally agree with
this
 opinion due to a vast range of reasons which some of these motives will be addressed in
this
 essay. The main reason why I believe
this
 idea is because in most cases, large companies which are managed as international commerce, usually try to maximise their profits without paying attention to local culture and etiquette.
Consequently
, they do not support cultural events and customs contrary to local trades and it is supposed to have negative impacts on the community. One good illustration for
this
 is one of the most famous villages in my country named ‘Masuleh’ where had been existed with its pure culture for thousands of years, whereas, it has changed into a modern village since setting up modern businesses there. Another reason why I strongly advocate
this
 notion is based on the fact that the community vitally depends on the native people. As the local commerce bankrupt, more populace leaves the area to seek a new vocation in other places.
In other words
, native people have to leave their community,
although
 they are dissatisfied with it. A particularly good example here is the same village I mentioned before. Many native people have abandoned their works in Masuleh and immigrated which can be counted as a negative influence on the cultural situation. In conclusion, as it is a common belief that large companies ruin the local communities, I completely agree with
this
 idea because it affects the populace’s works and cultures. Given
this
 situation, it seems that giving some supports to local businesses by governments will be helpful.
Submitted by elnazkarimi1386 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: