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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

People should follow the customs and traditions when they start to live in a new country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #customs #traditions #country
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Nowadays, people are migrating to other countries to get good opportunities and a better lifestyle. Some communities think that they should follow the
customs
 and traditions of the following country. I strongly agree with the statement given and will give my opinion in detail in a
further
 essay. First of all, every society has different
customs
 and traditions. And who wants to live in a new
place
, should prepare himself to obey all the
customs
 and
values
. Through
this
 they can easily adjust with their new Neighbours and get a respectful
place
 in their hearts.
For example
, if a person wants to get
respect
 for his own religious
values
, he should absolutely follow the environment of others. It can create love and affection between everyone.
Moreover
, if someone goes to live in a new location and persuades them to follow the rules and regulations of that
place
, he will create an awful elation among them.
For instance
, if a person gets the visa of Canada and start to live there, and he will not follow their principles about driving and parking the car on the road, police will catch him, prison him and he will be in danger. On the opposite site, some folks think that the people who get the new citizenship of other countries, should spread their old religious and cultural
values
 after migration. but in my opinion, they will get hate through
this
 way, and
also
, they will make their fun in someone else's society. If in the start, they will give
respect
 to someone else's
values
, they will get
respect
 for their own. So,
according to
 my opinion, when a person migrates at a new
place
, he should give
respect
 and love to others'
customs
 and traditions, if he follows the principles of their, he will throw himself in trouble.
Submitted by araibbutt93 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear logical progression of ideas throughout the essay. Connect paragraphs with cohesive devices while avoiding repetition.
coherence cohesion
Introductions and conclusions should clearly state your position and summarize the main ideas, respectively. Make them more substantial and engaging.
coherence cohesion
Support main points with detailed and specific examples. Develop arguments more fully to enhance clarity and impact.
task achievement
Respond to all parts of the task. Your response should directly address the prompt throughout.
task achievement
Present clear, well-developed ideas. Ideas should be expanded upon with more depth and critical analysis.
task achievement
Use a range of specific examples that are directly relevant to your arguments. Avoid over-generalizations or unnecessary hypotheticals.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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