IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

It’s sometimes said that people should be encouraged to get married before they are 30, as this is best both for the individual and society. Do you agree or disagree?

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Some people believe that society should get married before the age of 30, as
this
Linking Words
 is beneficial both for the person themselves and for others. The essay will disagree with the statement, as the majority of men and women, even
under
Correct pronoun usage
those under
show examples
 the age of thirty, have not yet formed their views on the world, education and so on and eventually, it will be finished by involving my own opinion.
To begin
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 with, a large number of humans in their twenties are still discovering who they are, focusing on their studies, and building their professional lives.
Furthermore
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, it often makes them hesitant to commit to long-term relationships
such
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 as
marriage
Use synonyms
.
For example
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, many students entering Cambridge University in 2025 believe that
marriage
Use synonyms
 can limit personal development and career growth, which is why they prefer to gain education and experience first.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some argue that marrying before thirty helps individuals establish stability sooner and create a secure
life
Use synonyms
.
That is
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 to say, they believe that early
marriage
Use synonyms
 can provide emotional support, reduce loneliness, and allow couples to grow together over time.
For instance
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, Hollywood stars like Zendaya and Tom Holland got married when they were both 26 and are still together. They helped each other through difficult stages of
life
Use synonyms
 and
creating
Wrong verb form
created
show examples
 a strong foundation for a stable and happy
life
Use synonyms
 together. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 some may argue that marrying before the age of 30 provides early stability and emotional support, the reality is that many individuals in their twenties are still in the process of discovering themselves and establishing their careers. Early
marriage
Use synonyms
 may limit personal growth and the opportunity to gain
life
Use synonyms
 experiences. In my opinion, humanity should have the freedom to decide when they are ready for
marriage
Use synonyms
.

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Task Achievement
Your introduction clearly states your position and outlines the points you will discuss. However, it would be more effective if you provided a clearer thesis statement that summarizes your main argument more convincingly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea. While your points are relevant, ensuring that ideas are more clearly separated can enhance readability and logical flow.
Task Achievement
The examples you provided are relevant, but expanding on them could strengthen your argument. Adding more details about how personal growth and experiences are affected by early marriage would enhance your overall point.
Overall Impression
Your essay presents a clear disagreement with the initial statement and provides a well-explained rationale for your viewpoint. You maintain focus on your argument throughout the essay, which is commendable.
Task Achievement
You included a mix of personal opinion and broader societal implications, which shows depth in your thinking and engagement with the topic.
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