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Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society.Others,however,believe that school is the place to learn this Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

#people #parents #children #members #society #school #place #discuss
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In my opinion, I think I agree that
parents
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 should be the
one
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ones
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 teaching their
children
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on
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apply
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how to be
a good members
Correct the article-noun agreement
a good member
good members
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 of
society
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will try to
further
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 elaborate
both
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on both
show examples
side
Change to a plural noun
sides
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 of these views, and give my reason as to why I agree
on
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with
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 the
first
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 view.
Parents
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 are the
first
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 members of
society
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 that
children
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 will encounter in their lives. So, I support
this
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 view because of
this
Linking Words
 simple reason. If their
parents
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 themselves cannot teach their
children
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 how to behave in
society
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, how do we expect
children
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 to learn from others
.
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?
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Children
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 will inevitably learn from their
parents
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 since they are the people they meet
everyday
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every day
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 and spend most of their time with during their childhood. With some
exception
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exceptions
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 of foster
children
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, which they will learn most things from their
caretaker
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caretakers
show examples
 that will become their parent figure in their lives. For the
second
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 view, I think I can understand a little where they are coming from.
Children
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 go to
school
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everday
Correct your spelling
everyday
every day
,
thus
Linking Words
 people will think that it is the
school
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's responsibility.
Teachers
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 can never give their full attention to each
Use synonyms
children
Change to a singular noun
child
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. Because of
this
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, I think
children
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 cannot fully learn through their
teachers
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 as much as they learn from their
parents
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. We cannot
also
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 guarantee that every
school
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 will have the same standard for teaching. So the responsibility will eventually
ended
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end
be ended
show examples
 up with the
parents
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 of each
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children
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child
show examples
. To conclude, I can say that even though
children
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 go to
school
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 every day and it will be the place
that
Correct word choice
where
show examples
 they will spend most of their time during the day. Schools ability to teach their
children
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 are limited by the capability of their
teachers
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 to care
each
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for each
show examples
 child. Whilst
teachers
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 are responsible for many
children
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 at the
school
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.
Thus
Linking Words
, they cannot
full
Replace the word
fully
show examples
 give their attention to each
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children
Change to a singular noun
child
show examples
 to teach them well enough.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is better for
parents
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 to teach their
children
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on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
how to be
a good members
Correct the article-noun agreement
a good member
good members
show examples
 of
society
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. Since
,
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apply
show examples
parents
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 will be able to give more attention
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 their
children
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 and will be able to spend more time with their
children
Use synonyms
.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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