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Band 7

Some say that because many people are living much longer, the age at which people retire from work should be raised considerably. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#say #people #age #work
It is believed that since the human lifespan is longer than ever before,
retirement
Add an article
the retirement
show examples
 age should be increased remarkably. From my perspective, I completely agree with
this
 notion because of the benefits it brings to individuals as well as society and the following essay aims to clarify my point of view.
To begin
 with, despite the fact that many
people
 are in
retirement
 age, they still desire to dedicate more and more to the organization which they’ve worked for their whole life. It is
also
consideredalso
Correct your spelling
considered also
considered a so
 considered as the new trend of
this
time
. These
people
 play a vital role in connecting and guiding the young employee in order to develop and contribute as much as possible. Elders’ knowledge and experience can be seen as a piece of equipment for the
next
 generation to follow and continue to maintain the value of the organization.
For instance
, Doctor Tran Dong A, who is 80 years old now and a well–known surgeon in Viet Nam. He and his younger colleagues have successfully operated on many difficult cases.
On the other hand
, when
people
 come closer to
retirement
, they want to spend more
time
 with their family after a series of busy working
time
.
Time
 is a treasure for them in
this
 stage so that they virtually want to spend them with their families. They decide to support their children in taking care of their young grandchildren and
also
 participate in more social activities
such
 as doing charity, planting trees in the neighbourhood, etc… In conclusion, it seems to me that the
retirement
 age should be raised since there are many
people
 who are energetic to continue to make their contributions to the community.
Submitted by t.m.khuong.1806 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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