Some say that because many people are living much longer, the age at which people retire from work should be raised considerably. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is believed that since the human lifespan is longer than ever before,

retirement

Add an article

the retirement

show examples

age should be increased remarkably. From my perspective, I completely agree with

this

notion because of the benefits it brings to individuals as well as society and the following essay aims to clarify my point of view.

To begin

with, despite the fact that many

people

are in

retirement

age, they still desire to dedicate more and more to the organization which they’ve worked for their whole life. It is

also

consideredalso

Correct your spelling

considered also

considered a so

considered as the new trend of

this

time

. These

people

play a vital role in connecting and guiding the young employee in order to develop and contribute as much as possible. Elders’ knowledge and experience can be seen as a piece of equipment for the

generation to follow and continue to maintain the value of the organization.

For instance

, Doctor Tran Dong A, who is 80 years old now and a well–known surgeon in Viet Nam. He and his younger colleagues have successfully operated on many difficult cases.

On the other hand

, when

people

come closer to

retirement

, they want to spend more

time

with their family after a series of busy working

time

Time

is a treasure for them in

this

stage so that they virtually want to spend them with their families. They decide to support their children in taking care of their young grandchildren and

also

participate in more social activities

such

as doing charity, planting trees in the neighbourhood, etc… In conclusion, it seems to me that the

retirement

age should be raised since there are many

people

who are energetic to continue to make their contributions to the community.

Submitted by t.m.khuong.1806 on Mon Jan 10 2022

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

281 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some say that because many people are living much longer, the age at which people retire from work should be raised considerably. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think women should be allowed to join the army, the navy and the air force just like men

Some people think the government should pay for health care and education, but other people claim that it is the individual’s responsibility. Discuss both the views and give your opinion?

Many citites around the world are facing severe traffic congestion problems. what are the main causes for this issue and what solutions can be implementedt to solve it ?

Studying with a group of students in a classroom is more beneficial than learning online at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?