IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Today, more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara Desert or Antarctica. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?

It has been observed that in recent years, there has been a growing trend of tourists travelling to remote and harsh destinations like the Sahara
desert
Fix capitalization
Desert
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 and Antarctica.
While
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 journey offers unique experiences,
they
Correct pronoun usage
it
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also
Linking Words
pose
Correct subject-verb agreement
poses
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 several challenges
,
Punctuation problem
;
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Linking Words
thus
Punctuation problem
thus,
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this
Linking Words
 essay will explore both
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
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 and drawbacks of
this
Linking Words
 type of tourism.
Emphasizing
Use the right word
Emphasising
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 the possible pros of these tourist attractions, the major one could be to view
raw
Correct article usage
the raw
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 and untouched form of nature. I n other words,
people
Use synonyms
 can witness the beauty of glaciers and endless sand dunes
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 they cannot find in conventional destinations. Another remarkable aspect is educational value. In simple words, often these tours are guided by travel experts, so
travelers
Use the right word
travellers
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 can get in-depth knowledge of landscapes,
they
Correct word choice
and they
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 could learn more about climate, ecology and geography. Not only
this
Linking Words
, adventurous trips
also
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 leave
long lasting
Use the right word
long-lasting
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 impressions on
people
Use synonyms
's
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
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 and help them to face new challenges.
Conversely
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, there are enormous disadvantages of
such
Linking Words
 trips which cannot be ignored.
Firstly
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,
physical
Correct article usage
the physical
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 demands of these destinations can be significant because of harsh weather conditions, poor medical services and limited knowledge of these places can cause
life threatening
Use the right word
life-threatening
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 problems for
travelers
Use the right word
travellers
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, especially for kids or old age
individuals
Check wording
apply
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.
Secondly
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, these trips tend to be more expensive as
people
Use synonyms
 may need to pay extra for special
equipments
Correct your spelling
equipment
, guides, transport and destination.
Furthermore
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,
people
Use synonyms
 can disturb local wildlife, which could have long-term consequences if not properly managed.
Lastly
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, it is concluded that no doubt, there are numerous benefits of visiting places like Antarctica or the Sahara desert,
the
Correct word choice
but the
show examples
 serious cons of
this
Linking Words
 trend cannot be undermined.

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Task Achievement
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and supports it with examples.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use clear linking words to connect your ideas and sentences smoothly.
Task Achievement
Include more specific examples or details about the benefits and disadvantages mentioned.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve the clarity of your sentences by rewriting complex sentences in simpler forms.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion that outline your main points.
Task Achievement
You identified a good range of benefits and disadvantages of tourism in harsh conditions.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • adventure
  • cultural exposure
  • environmental awareness
  • risk
  • physical challenges
  • local economies
  • conservation
  • fragility
  • unique experiences
  • economic support
  • physical fitness
  • mental resilience
  • trekking
  • sustainability
  • infrastructure
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