Some people think that mobile phones are harmful for children while others disagree. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

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Introduction

In modern society, technology has become accessible to everyone. There is a belief that mobile phones are harmful to children. While others disagree with

this

Linking Words

opinion. It is clear that the onus is on parents to teach them how to use their mobiles as it can be harmful to them depending on the ways of using them.

Body paragraph 1

The

first

Linking Words

aspect to point out is that using mobile phones is necessary for some young people.

For example

Linking Words

, in Japan, the young need to access public transports when they go to school.

Therefore

Linking Words

, their parents need to keep in touch in order to know if there is no trouble for their child.

Additionally

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, some gadgets have GPS which attracts adults for their offspring's safety.

Body paragraph 2

However

Linking Words

, it could be suggested that the youths might be involved in trouble due to a lack of knowledge.

For instance

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, nowadays, people are receiving phone calls and messages that are complicated scams. It would be difficult for the young to avoid being involved if they did not know how to handle these scams.

Therefore

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, it would be understandable that some think that mobiles are harmful to the youths.

Body paragraph 3

Another important issue is that adults need to instruct their offspring how to operate their phones in order to avoid having problems related to the ways of using them. They should educate their children on how to access the internet since there are many websites that are doggy.

Additionally

Linking Words

, the young need to be advised to report their parents when they received suspicious calls or messages.

Conclusion

To conclude, there is no doubt that the youths are at risk of being involved in trouble if they are not educated on the safe operation of their technology,

thus

Linking Words

, it is the adult's responsibility to teach them.

Additionally

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, if adults supervise them properly, it would not be harmful to them.

hiromi-o.1828

Jan 11, 2022

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Your opinion

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

308 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

excessive screen time
health problems
eye strain
poor posture
disrupted sleep patterns
inappropriate content
addiction
reliance
impair
social skills
educational tools
digital literacy
mitigated
parental guidance
safeguards
responsible use
monitored
development
benefits
risks

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