IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think it would be a good idea for schools to teach every young person how to be a good parent. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Describe the skills a person needs to be a good parent.

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Parental skills are becoming a concerning issue in many countries as the importance of childhood on the future of the person and the society.
Therefore
Linking Words
, there is
argue
Wrong verb form
an argument
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if
Correct word choice
that
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 teaching these abilities
at
Change preposition
to
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 schools to youth is a good idea, which I completely agree with. There are many reasons that the benefits of learning these at schools for society outweigh the disadvantages. First of all, having the ability to take care of a child is essential
due to
Linking Words
 the presence of them around us, as a niece or nephew,
for instance
Linking Words
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the childhood situation has a vital impact on someone’s private and public future.
For example
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, recent psychological studies showed that many culprits had grown under bad circumstances in anxious and belligerent families.
However
Linking Words
, considering some skills, correlated to the behaviour toward children would decline the possibility of the same consequences.
Firstly
Linking Words
, and maybe the most important virtue is self-improving because a toddler would not follow your words if they are
in contrast
Linking Words
 with your attitudes.
In other words
Linking Words
, children would learn by watching and imitating you
instead
Linking Words
 of listening.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the willfulness of human nature needs your patience and understanding which abound in
primary
Correct article usage
the primary
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 years of life. To illustrate, a parent could not resist and endure the loud if a child continues to cry and scream to get something.
Lastly
Linking Words
, the capability to love and care about someone without any expectation plays a key role in every kind of relationship, especially parental. A mother, as a model, would sacrifice anything to protect her child and not one a bit in return.
To conclude
Linking Words
, teaching the important parental expertise to young adults at academies would enhance the next generation society
which
Correct word choice
and
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 I agree that these virtues are learnable and improvable.

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task response
Ensure that the essay fully addresses the prompt and provides a clear stance on the topic.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow of ideas and use linking words to connect different parts of the essay more effectively.
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