Successful sports professionals can earn a lot of more money than people in other important professions. Some people think that this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

In the concurrent world, exercising is more and more professional. And those sportsmen can have lots of benefits when they become famous. Some people consider that it is not fair since they only devote themselves to that field.
While
others argue that they are worth
this
since they have been trained
so
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for so
show examples
many years.
This
essay is going to discuss both sides and my own opinions.
Firstly
, after they had won a world competition. They may become well-known celebrities.
In addition
, they can have a variety of ways to earn money.
For example
, they can be social influencers to sell their own product or they can start their movie careers.
As a result
, they definitely can gain more in various methods. Another reason that they deserve
this
is that it may take them loads of time to practise. Like the other types of sensational occupations
such
as lawyers, they spend years and years in training to
fulfilling
Wrong verb form
fulfil
show examples
their achievements. They have already paid their costs.
Hence
, they obviously can have their returns.
Secondly
, some claim that
this
is inaccurate. Since they are only doing exercise, they should not have so much paid.
Compare
Wrong verb form
Compared
show examples
with the other noticeable jobs like doctors, they have fewer techniques.
Additionally
, the folk would clarify that they
do
Verb problem
are
show examples
not worth it.
Furthermore
, since they had only practised
on
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apply
show examples
their own
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
, they generally do not know about the other subjects, or they have no sense of them.
Subsequently
, society may have unfair emotions.
To conclude
, it has its pons and cons.
However
, I do agree that they are certified to earn more money. They
also
have studied
a
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for a
show examples
long period
for reaching
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to reach
show examples
their own records.
Submitted by sam658769 on

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coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure by organizing ideas more clearly and cohesively.
coherence cohesion
Ensure the introduction clearly presents the topic and the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points.
task achievement
Provide more detailed examples and elaborate on the supporting points to make the argument more persuasive.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial remuneration
  • exceptional
  • merit
  • talent
  • demand
  • entertainment value
  • career span
  • physical demands
  • justified
  • unfair
  • criticism
  • income inequality
  • societal priorities
  • sportsmanship
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