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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some believe that it is best to encourage children to have a healthy diet at school, while others believe that parents should ones to teach children to have a healthy diet. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

There is a debate about whether
schools
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 or
parents
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 are primarily responsible for teaching
children
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 to follow a healthy
diet
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. Some say that kids should be taught to have a wholesome
diet
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 by their
parents
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.
However
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, others argue that
schools
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 should take the lead in educating
children
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 about proper nutrition. In my opinion, the first one is more responsible, as
parents
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 are the primary role models and
children
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 learn their
habits
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 mostly from home.
Parents
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 have a crucial influence on their
children
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's eating
habits
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. They are the ones who decide what kind of food is prepared at home and set an example by choosing nutritious options.
For instance
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, if
parents
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 regularly prepare balanced meals and avoid excessive junk food,
children
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 are more likely to adopt similar
habits
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.
Therefore
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,
parents
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 can control their
children
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's
diet
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 consistently, which is challenging for teachers to achieve in an academic setting.
On the other hand
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,
schools
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also
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 play a significant role in promoting healthy eating. School canteens can offer well-being options, and educational programs can teach
children
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 about the importance of
a
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apply
show examples
healthy consumption.
For example
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,
children
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 pupils might spend a lot of their time with their teacher, classmates, and
also
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 their textbooks at school,
as a result
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,
this
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 could have a significant impact on following to consume natural and harmless foods.
Thus
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, the time spent at school is limited, and the ultimate responsibility lies with the
parents
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, as they oversee
children
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's meals during weekends and holidays. In conclusion,
although
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schools
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 can support healthy eating
habits
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, I believe
parents
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 are primarily responsible for teaching their
children
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 to maintain a healthy
diet
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. Their consistent influence and control over daily dishes make them the most effective in instilling good eating
habits
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.

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task achievement
Consider clearly presenting both viewpoints with balanced arguments before giving your opinion. This will enhance the completeness of your response.
task achievement
Ensure all your ideas are well-developed and explore each point more thoroughly, particularly in your examples.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to connect your ideas effectively with cohesive devices to improve the overall flow of the essay. Avoid repetition of phrases like 'healthy diet' and use synonyms or varied expressions instead.
task achievement
You successfully present a clear opinion, emphasizing the role of parents in fostering healthy eating habits.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure with an appropriate introduction and conclusion, making it easy to follow.
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