One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing . Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#consequences #care #people #life #expectancy #development

In the

last

decades, medicine and treatment technologies have been rising and the technologies support a long

life

for

people

. In fact, there are some advantages to human

life

on the other hand

this

long

life

has some disadvantages. I believe

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

this

treatment and medicine have a gorgeous effect on the human world. In

this

essay, I would like to explain the good side and bad sides of medical care. Some technological improvement has shown us that the medical technologies have risen and it's support to living

time

people

also

this

time

has risen day by day and

people

could be happy.

Firstly

, because of a long lifetime,

people

can spend more

time

with their family, relatives or

people

who like them.

In addition

, when they spend

time

with your loved ones, they will be happy.

Finally

people

can learn more information as science, religion, philosophy etc. in

this

long

time

and they will be wise and they could speak about wisdom. For

this

reason, humanity could rise about science.

For instance

, if a scientist who has a brilliant brain will survive a long

time

, he can invent more devices that can help persons more. I support,

this

technological rising will be

made

Wrong verb form

make

show examples

us better. On the other,

this

big lifetime has some bad effect on our world. In nature, some

people

should die and some

people

should be burned. If some

people

don't die in normal human

life

, the world will be crowded, so we will finish the source of the meet and water.

However

, we can solve

this

problem with technology and we can put some limits on reproduction like in China. In conclusion, technological improvement has some dangerous way and it is the same for medicine, but these developments have a lot of advantages as long and healthy

life

. In my opinion, we can fix some problems with science, so we should continue inventing some things.

Submitted by emrahipek25 on Thu Jan 13 2022

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

320 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

life expectancy
elderly population
health care systems
pension funds
extended family relationships
quality of life
aging population
economic growth
volunteer work
expertise
financial planning
retirement
age-related diseases
medical research
healthier lifestyles

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One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing . Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

You have just moved into a new home and are planning to hold a party. You are worried that the noise may disturb your neighbour. Write a letter to yur neighbour. In your letter introduce yourself describe your plans for the party invite your neigbhour to come

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Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Many scientists are concerned about global warming. Research shows that the worldwide increase in temperature is getting worse. Furthermore, global warming seems to be related to levels of pollution in the atmosphere. Discuss the causes of global warming and possible solutions to the problem.