IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some students tend to travel after finishing school and spend time working somewhere instead of going to the university directly. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?

#students #travel #school #time #university #development
A small proportion of teenagers gravitate towards the idea of travelling or working before pursuing a degree after finishing high
school
.
On the contrary
, many youngsters desire to walk on the more common path of completing their graduation before applying for a job or before going on a long vacation. Albeit, the ratio of the former group is relatively small.
However
, my perspective accords well with theirs. In
this
 essay, I am going to discuss both views and
also
 elaborate on my viewpoint.
Firstly
, scoring a job or an internship before resuming education after high
school
 can be a blessing in disguise. It allows them to gain
first
-hand experience with the profession they want to pursue without depleting their college funds or time, and it can help them decide whether they want to pursue it
further
.
For example
, I joined a clinic nearby before pursuing my bachelors in Physical Therapy to determine if I was cut out for the job or not.
Secondly
, travelling to different countries after finishing high
school
 may teach them to be more
amiable
Correct your spelling
amicable
show examples
 towards people of different heritages.
Such
 as, due to increasing cases of racism towards members of different castes and colours, a plethora of folks believe it is a great opportunity to educate young minds.
On the other hand
, a fair share of grownups
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 anxious about the negative effect of
this
 development. They believe that children are still naive at that stage and can easily be exploited by employers. The chances of facing backlash while travelling alone in an unfamiliar country are high, and the safety hazard of the same cannot be neglected. In conclusion,
although
 travelling or working after high
school
 is virtually the best idea,
However
, appropriate safety nets should be installed to nullify the odds of a catastrophe.
Submitted by anirudhbajaj4 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: