Popular events like the football World Cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some say that global sporting
events
Use synonyms
are important for relaxing international tensions and expressing patriotism in a healthy way. I completely disagree with
this
Linking Words
notion because they can put
players
Use synonyms
' health and lives at huge risk, and wars may happen irrespective of these
events
Use synonyms
. Most popular
events
Use synonyms
, like the World Cup matches in cricket or football, require extreme discipline, meaning
players
Use synonyms
push back many of their personal priorities to achieve a medal because their national pride is at stake. All citizens associate a lot of hope and expectations with top-notch
players
Use synonyms
, which increases the pressure
further
Linking Words
. If those expectations are unfulfilled, the
players
Use synonyms
and their families may face massive harassment.
For example
Linking Words
, Virat Kohli, one of the internationally known cricketers, once received mass rape threats against his daughter because fans could not fathom his failure in a certain match.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, nuclear conflicts among certain countries occur irrespective of the games. There is significant historical context and political tension involved when arranging these
events
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, Iran and Israel have a history of ongoing conflict, where the consequences have been disastrous; millions have lost their lives. In situations like theirs, no event can truly bring them together or ease tensions. In conclusion, international games cannot necessarily help release patriotic emotions safely, as they put
players
Use synonyms
under immense threat, and some countries continue to be at war
due to
Linking Words
historical contexts that prevent the easing of international tensions.
Submitted by man3meet4 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Consider offering a counterargument to show balance in your essay, as addressing multiple perspectives can enhance your argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure smoother transitions between ideas to enhance the flow of your essay. This can help readers follow your argument more easily.
task response
The essay provides relevant and specific examples to support its main points, which strengthens the argument.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure is well-organized, with a clear introduction and conclusion. Each paragraph is focused on a distinct point.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: