IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices.

A certain number of
people
Use synonyms
 state that, recently, an increasing number of
choices
Use synonyms
 makes their decisions harder.
This
Linking Words
 essay totally agrees with the statement because
overwhelm
Replace the word
overwhelming
show examples
 options can cause confusion and depression.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, too many
choices
Use synonyms
 make
one
Use synonyms
 who needs to make a decision
hestitates
Correct your spelling
hesitates
 of the best
choices
Use synonyms
. In the past, since we all had limited
choices
Use synonyms
, selecting an option was
simple
Replace the word
simply
show examples
 because there were few situations to compare.
However
Linking Words
, nowadays, there are plenty of
choices
Use synonyms
 to choose
and
Change preposition
from and
show examples
 no
one
Use synonyms
 can guarantee the best
one
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, buying a coffee today requires customers to select
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 size of their coffee. Sometimes,
this
Linking Words
choice
Use synonyms
 is difficult and easy to be persuaded.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
100 years ago, we had only a single shot of coffee. Customers didn't have a chance to hesitate for other
choices
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, excessive
choices
Use synonyms
 can depress citizens in societies. Everyone want to select the best
choice
Use synonyms
 they have,
otherwise
Linking Words
, they might feel a failure. A variety of
choices
Use synonyms
 makes
people
Use synonyms
 in societies compare their sense of making a good decision to
one
Use synonyms
 another, whereas, in the past, these
people
Use synonyms
 didn't have
choices
Use synonyms
 to
be hesitated
Change to the active voice
hesitate
have hesitated
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, there are many methods of diet. Each person suits a different procedure.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, only a partial number of
people
Use synonyms
 succeeds in losing weight.
Therefore
Linking Words
, those
people
Use synonyms
 who don't archive tend to compare themselves to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
show examples
. To summarise, overwhelming options
makes
Change the verb form
make
show examples
 difficult decisions because everyone wants to make the best
choice
Use synonyms
 but onone know which
choice
Use synonyms
 is the best before they
make
Correct pronoun usage
itmake
show examples
.
In addition
Linking Words
, these can make
people
Use synonyms
 have a mental illness.
Consequently
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 essay totally agrees that we have essisive
choice
Use synonyms
 these days.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • overwhelmed
  • decision fatigue
  • paralysis by analysis
  • consumerism
  • globalization
  • personal autonomy
  • market saturation
  • option overload
  • decision-making process
  • psychological well-being
  • buyer's remorse
  • customization
  • trade-offs
  • minimalism
  • information superhighway
What to do next:
Look at other essays: