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Band 6.5

Lack of freshwater is becoming a global issue of increasing importance. What problems does this shortage cause? What measures could be taken to overcome these problems?

#lack #importance #shortage #measures
In recent years, significant
people
 have confessed that they feel insecure wherever they are.
This
 article will discuss two main reasons for
this
 feeling and point out potential solutions to tackle
this
 problem.
To begin
 with, the surge in crime rate due to unemployment is the leading cause of
people
's anxiety when they are out.
People
 are likely to tread on the wrong path whenever they cannot make ends meet.
Hence
, they get involved in crimes,
such
 as theft or robbery.
Consequently
,
people
 will raise their vigilance and always be in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 sense of insecurity.
In addition
, the main reason for
people
's insecurities when they are at home is domestic
violence
. Intensive stress from financial problems might be one of the reasons for domestic
violence
.
People
 are more likely to take the stress out on their household
members
 because nobody can catch up with them.
Therefore
, they tend to use
violence
 to take the stress out and feel more comfortable.
However
, that comfortable feeling makes other family
members
 anxious Actions must be taken as soon as possible to minimize
people
's insecurity.
Firstly
, the government should generate more employment opportunities. By doing so, underprivileged
people
 can have jobs, and the government can narrow down the gap between rich and poor
people
.
Therefore
, the crime rate would decrease, and
people
 can feel safe whenever they are out.
Secondly
, authorities should promote educational campaigns about domestic
violence
. With a higher level of awareness about their actions,
people
 will stop attacking their household
members
.
Hence
, others family
members
 can sense safe when they are at home. In conclusion, unemployment and domestic
violence
 are two main reasons for
people
's insecurity. The government should generate employment opportunities and raise awareness to tackle the problem.
Submitted by arash.dejkameh on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Fresh produce
  • Sustainability
  • Desertification
  • Agricultural yields
  • Hydroponics
  • Organic farming
  • Food deserts
  • Aquaponics
  • Crop rotation
  • Climate change
  • Malnutrition
  • Food security
  • Subsistence farming
  • Genetically modified organisms (GMOs)
  • Agribusiness
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