Some people think that only the government can make significant changes in society, while others think that individual can have a lot of influence. What is your opinion?

The supplied bar chart highlights with regard to the percentage of unemployed graduates by gender and age in the European country throughout the two-year period from 2008 to 2009. Over the conducted research, we can observe the most number of unemployed students was in October of the year 2009.
Moreover
, a more detailed look at
this
chart provides the possibility to infer that the percentages of men and women, who are without various occupations, are composed of just over 20% and slightly lower than 15% respectively.
Also
noteworthy is that
such
high
figures
were in the same month in the former year.
However
, the number of unemployed students was different. According to the chart, it can be spotted that summer is a common season  for working among graduates. During the
first
research
period
Add a comma
,period
show examples
the percentages of unemployment between males and females consist of equal
figures
such
as approximately 7% of men and slightly lower than 7% of women.
Nevertheless
, s tendency has incurred changes and the number of unemployed adolescents spiked in the summer of the year 2009. In order to be more precise, the percentages were approximately doubled from former
figures
. To summarise, it can be inferred that
this
tendency has undergone alters during the research period and
figures
have risen significantly.
Submitted by sunsistem123 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: