Some people think that music plays an important role in society. Others think it is simply a form of entertainment. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Nowadays it is strongly believed by some experts that music has a great influence on society. On the opposite, there is an opinion that it is only a kind of amusement and nothing else. The issue is rather controversial but, to my mind, the melody is more than just a type of leisure activity.
As for people who see it as a significant influencer, there are some aspects supporting their point of view.
Firstly
, songs and melodies can help individuals to relax. For instance
, after stressful work, a lot of them come home and sleep or cook listening to some classical music or chilling
out Wrong verb form
chill
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
assist
Correct subject-verb agreement
assists
to change
their mood. Change preposition
in changing
Consequently
, these genres are providing
recreation to the community. Wrong verb form
provide
Secondly
, several kinds of melody such
as rock or hip hop can give people more energy. That is
why plenty of youngsters enjoy attending concerts and clubs. As for them, it is a chance to move and spend time with friends. We can come to the conclusion that musical genres can not only chill society but make it more dynamic. Thirdly
, the kind of art improves memory. Possibly, learning texts of
songs Correct your spelling
or
that is
usual for children in schools or studying how to play musical instruments are not a waste of time because they can make their mind more flexible and smarter. Moreover
, the activity is useful for adults and a
reason is the necessity of interactive work to prevent some diseases as dementia in older ages.
Correct article usage
the
However
, some experts have another point of view and arguments. For instance
, it is claimed by them that musical activities don't have a useful role. This
kind of hobby doesn't help to build houses or obtain any vital products. Therefore
, it seems to them, the
melody is only for amusing goals. Correct word choice
that the
In addition
, it is not involved in any industry except show business. They say that all rock concerts, philharmonic or some other events where people play different instruments are in any case an aspect of entertainment that is
a reason why these opponents believe that songs can not be anything else excluding enjoyment.
In conclusion, despite the
great role in Change the word
its
amusing
industry singing means for society extremely more than just Correct word choice
the amusement
leisure
activity for having fun. It influences a lot on the individuals' psychological conditions. As an example, musical genres can relax or give motivation for exercise. Correct article usage
a leisure
That is
why, it is often played in some salons during the processes of massage or during physical education. Moreover
, working with music broadens the mind that
is Correct word choice
and
also
highly useful for the brain. It is a very necessary part of living in the world.Submitted by origamiural on
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advice
Task response: The essay provides a balanced discussion of both views and offers a clear opinion. However, further development of the ideas and more specific examples would strengthen the response.
advice
Coherence and cohesion: The essay demonstrates adequate logical structure with a clear introduction and conclusion. The use of linking words and organization of ideas is effective, but some areas could benefit from more cohesive development and clearer connections between paragraphs.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.