Crime appears to be rising in most countries in the world, especially among young people. Identify the possible causes of this trend, and propose some solutions you think would be effective.

Nowadays, the number of crimes committed by young people is escalating everywhere around the globe. The origins of
this
situation seem to derive from three factors,
while
several remedies appear to be open to us. The fundamental cause appears to be poor parental discipline, which gives full control to
youngsters
themselves,
thus
leading them to violate a law.
For example
, in Mongolia, a police report states that 80% of the
youngsters
who committed
offense
Fix the agreement mistake
offenses
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had no one to supervise and talk to them. The second factor is the adults or peers who force them, and
due to
their naivety, teenagers can get involved in unwanted situations. At
this
age, their mental state is unstable;
in addition
, inducement from strangers or friends may deceive
youngsters
and use them for their advantage. Another root for
this
problem is low family income which pushes adolescents to steal in order to maintain their lives. Especially, orphans living in poor conditions who have no parents to feed them happen to be
the
Correct article usage
apply
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criminals. The first simple step to diminish
this
misfortune is to listen to the teenagers more often and regularly talk and ask how they feel; it would keep them in comfort and let parents keep the children in check.
Second
Change the article
The second
show examples
method is to educate students about crime; teachers and parents will
be playing
Wrong verb form
play
show examples
a major role by giving them lessons (it would be more effective if the knowledge is acquired from a young age), and
as a result
, it would reduce the crime rate and change the blinded view. If more information was available, it would stop unavailing ideas and help choose better options as students gain more insight on not
to commit
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committing
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any
offense
Change the spelling
offence
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.
Lastly
, employing and paying a sufficient amount of wage to
youngsters
might decrease the number of
theft
Fix the agreement mistake
thefts
show examples
. Employers can perhaps train and give a considerable amount of work
while
encouraging them with a bonus. In summary, poor supervision and financial state appear to be the major causes. The problems could be solved with guidance from adults and more opportunities to earn money for the unprivileged ones.
Submitted by alexstudyin on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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