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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that music plays an important role in society. Others think it is simply a form of entertainment. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #music #role #society #form #entertainment
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Some people say that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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music
 plays
an
Change the article
a
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 crucial role in
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
,I agree. While others believe that as
a
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apply
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one
form
 of
the
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apply
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entertainment
. I believe
music
 is
one
 of the art
forms
 of heritage and culture. In
this
 essay,I will discuss both
the
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apply
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sides and give
necessary
Correct article usage
the necessary
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 opinion. On the
one
 hand,soothing
music
 is the divine
form
 of art because it has
a specific past times
Correct the article-noun agreement
specific past times
a specific past time
show examples
.
Firstly
,in ancient times many
music
 scholars have divided into different styles of
music
. To illustrate
this
,folk
music
,classical,and western are various
forms
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 are used
by
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apply
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according to culture and heritage.
Moreover
,
public
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the public
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 are performing on stages
with
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apply
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accompanied by artists.
Secondly
,today many teenagers are learning performing arts from
music
 teachers and pursuing
as
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apply
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a professional career.
For instance
,there are many international
music
 institutions for students who are interested in doing research on the arts.
However
,according to
generation
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the generation
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gap
Add a comma
,gap
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 there are different trend styles starting from the age of 6 to 65 everyone who is having good voice culture can learn the
music
.
Lastly
,
music
 therapy is
one
 of the recent natural remedies of curing various illnesses of patients
Neverthless
Correct your spelling
Nevertheless
,
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
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 says that
music
 is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 simple
form
 of
entertainment
 because it is used in public places.
For example
,
In
Change preposition
At
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 birthday parties ,family events and community functions pop
music
 and western
music
 are played as
an
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apply
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extra
entertainment
 in social gatherings.
Furthemore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
,youngsters are being more interested in listening western
forms
 and avoiding classical style because of the generation gap and interests of the people. To conclude,people have different perspectives on
music
 because of the
forms
 and styles. In my opinion,
music
 is not
only
Add an article
the only
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form
Correct article usage
a form
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 of
the
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apply
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entertainment
 but it has its divinity and cultural values.
Submitted by ar050682 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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