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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that music plays an important role in society. Others think it is simply a form of entertainment. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #music #role #society #form #entertainment
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Some people say that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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music
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 plays
an
Change the article
a
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 crucial role in
community
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the community
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,I agree. While others believe that as
a
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apply
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one
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form
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 of
the
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apply
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entertainment
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. I believe
music
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 is
one
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 of the art
forms
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 of heritage and culture. In
this
Linking Words
 essay,I will discuss both
the
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apply
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sides and give
necessary
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the necessary
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 opinion. On the
one
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 hand,soothing
music
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 is the divine
form
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 of art because it has
a specific past times
Correct the article-noun agreement
specific past times
a specific past time
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.
Firstly
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,in ancient times many
music
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 scholars have divided into different styles of
music
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. To illustrate
this
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,folk
music
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,classical,and western are various
forms
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which
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that
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 are used
by
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apply
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according to culture and heritage.
Moreover
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,
public
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the public
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 are performing on stages
with
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apply
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accompanied by artists.
Secondly
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,today many teenagers are learning performing arts from
music
Use synonyms
 teachers and pursuing
as
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apply
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a professional career.
For instance
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,there are many international
music
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 institutions for students who are interested in doing research on the arts.
However
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,according to
generation
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the generation
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gap
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,gap
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 there are different trend styles starting from the age of 6 to 65 everyone who is having good voice culture can learn the
music
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.
Lastly
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,
music
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 therapy is
one
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 of the recent natural remedies of curing various illnesses of patients
Neverthless
Correct your spelling
Nevertheless
,
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
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 says that
music
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 is
the
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a
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 simple
form
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 of
entertainment
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 because it is used in public places.
For example
Linking Words
,
In
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At
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 birthday parties ,family events and community functions pop
music
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 and western
music
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 are played as
an
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apply
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extra
entertainment
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 in social gatherings.
Furthemore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
,youngsters are being more interested in listening western
forms
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 and avoiding classical style because of the generation gap and interests of the people. To conclude,people have different perspectives on
music
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 because of the
forms
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 and styles. In my opinion,
music
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 is not
only
Add an article
the only
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Use synonyms
form
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a form
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 of
the
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apply
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entertainment
Use synonyms
 but it has its divinity and cultural values.
Submitted by ar050682 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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