Some people say that government should not put money on building theatres and sport stadium. They should spend more money on medical care and education. Do you agree or disagree ?
Several representatives of contemporary society deem that local departments should spend a plethora of money on facilities
such
as theatres or sports constructions Linking Words
whereas
others argue with Linking Words
this
statement and allege that governments should be concerned about the educational and medical areas. From my perspective, it cannot be denied that both positions are composed of a fraction of the truth. Linking Words
Therefore
, I am going to reflect on Linking Words
this
essay my own view of Linking Words
such
a discussion and Linking Words
to
provide strong arguments, which confirm my position.
On the one hand, governments should concentrate on the cultural nurture of the population. Fix the infinitive
apply
For instance
, theatres and cinemas may Linking Words
be provided
various performances for citizens in order to increase their level of literacy. Wrong verb form
provide
Likewise
, departments should invest in sports activities and encourage society to participate in them. Linking Words
Thus
, inhabitants can keep a healthy lifestyle and be very active. Linking Words
Hence
, if the vast majority of the population does not suffer from disorders because of useful habits, doctors and hospitals are not very busy.
Linking Words
On the other hand
, some experts contend that education is an essential area of communities. Linking Words
For
Linking Words
this
reason, leaders should contribute to the development of Linking Words
this
field. Linking Words
For instance
, it would be effective to build new universities, to attract the young generation to enrol in Linking Words
it
. Correct pronoun usage
them
However
, it would be unfair Linking Words
not to mention
the fact that Linking Words
illiterate
society has an adverse impact on the environment and Correct article usage
an illiterate
trigger
certain repercussions for it Correct subject-verb agreement
triggers
such
as a rise of criminal cases against humanity, troubles with unemployment and the degradation of communities Linking Words
overall
. Linking Words
In addition
, rulers should spend money on the medical system. Linking Words
Nevertheless
, if educational and entertainment areas Linking Words
will
not Verb problem
are
be
developed, people can encounter problems with health because without skilled staff in medicine and the lack of numerous activities in the city they can frequently suffer from depression and various disorders. Verb problem
apply
Consequently
, I contemplate that all sectors are coherent with each other.
Linking Words
To sum up
, I would stress that having made these points, it is true that Linking Words
such
an issue incurs criticism. Linking Words
Nonetheless
, only governments must decide Linking Words
upon
for themselves, which areas they prefer to support financially. In my opinion, the benefits of expenditure should outweigh its flaws.Change preposition
apply
Submitted by sunsistem123 on
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coherence cohesion
The essay has a coherent logical structure, but the introduction and conclusion could be more developed to provide a more comprehensive response to the task.
task achievement
The response provides some relevant ideas, but it could be more focused and provide a clearer and more comprehensive response to the task question. Use specific examples to support the arguments.