Childhood obesity is becoming a problem thoughout the developed world . Because of this , some people think that adverts for fast food , sweets and sugary snacks should not be allowed in schools and colleges . To what extent do you agree or disagree with this ?

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advertisement: notice or announcement for promoting a product in public . Eating junk food cause many diseases like obesity in children which is very common nowadays . Due to

this

, some argue that ads for an unhealthy

meal

Fix the agreement mistake

meals

show examples

should be banned near school premice so that the obesity rate can decrease . I totally disagree with their statement . The

first

and foremost factor is that there are other sources available to advertise the products .

For example

, TV and social media . For influencing the generation , there are a lot of ads appearing in between while using the internet and TV for entertainment , education , sport and news purposes . Apart from

this

, these products are available at every corner . So , fast meals could be easily noticed by youngsters in their surroundings .

However

, kids may be less influenced by banning the ads in study areas , parents

also

play a vital role in the meal of children . If parents do not give money to their offspring for purchasing anything whatever they want to , they may not get attracted towards unhealthy food . Another factor is that there are other reasons which lead to fatness . In

children

Add a comma

,children

show examples

obesity, lack of exercise and gummed in front of TV or laptops are playing an important role . In conclusion , to motivate adults towards other products , the ban of posters of unhealthy food in school areas could be done . The banning ad in the education area might only create a little difference in condition . Because other factors really play a good role in fatness , which should be changed to improve the condition in a noticeable way .

Submitted by kiranghuman43 on Thu Jan 20 2022

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Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

291 words

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Childhood obesity is becoming a problem thoughout the developed world . Because of this , some people think that adverts for fast food , sweets and sugary snacks should not be allowed in schools and colleges . To what extent do you agree or disagree with this ?

Fully explain your ideas

Celebrities earn more salary than senior politicians in some countries. Is this a positive development or negative? what is the reason?

ome people believe they should keep all the money they have earned and should not pay taxes to the state. Do you agree or disagree?

Fresh water has become a global problem for the world. What are the reasons of it? What measures government and individuals should take to resolve this?

Some argue that all young children should be required to stay with full-time education until they are at least 18 years old. Do you agree or disagree?

Many people go to university for academic study. More people should be encouraged to do vocational training because there is a lack of qualified workers such as electricians and plumbers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?