IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

The prevention of health problems and health illness is more important than treatment and medicine. Government funding should reflect this. To what extent do you agree?

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Health is the most important part of human life,
therefore
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 the government should spend
money
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 to promote healthy behaviour in
order
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 to prevent illness. I strongly agree with
this
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 statement and the following examples will be provided in
order
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 to support my point of view.
To begin
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 with, the most important reason why the government should have invested a budget to promote healthy habits campaigns for the population is that it has cost-effectiveness. To illustrate, according to the latest research conducted by Bangkok University, it has been reported that the hospital cost of the top five diseases of Thai people is high since most of them are chronic diseases that have to continuously follow-up for a long time.
As a result
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, there is much clinical research that tends to find the cause of disease in
order
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 to prevent critical illness at present.
Therefore
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, it is clearly seen that
money
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 is better spent for the prevention of disease than spent for a cure.
Secondly
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, another significant reason is that prevention disease schemes would bring a better quality of life to people.
For example
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, according to the latest survey, it has revealed that 80% of HCC patients have a lower quality of life after having been diagnosed since they have gone into the treatment processes which required a lot of
money
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 and time, as result, some patients have to quit the job and have expense problem in the family.
This
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 will decline their well-being. In conclusion, health promotion
such
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 as exercise, daily campaigns, eating healthy food; less sugar, low salt and cleanliness are the best strategies for the government in
order
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 to prevent serious illnesses which require more
money
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 to tackle or it is worthwhile.

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