Gender equality has not been achieved in our society. Women still do not have the same rights and opportunities as men. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#gender #equality #society #women #rights #opportunities #men

Gender

Equality is a heavily discussed topic. Some people argue that

women

still do not have the same rights and

opportunities

men

although

much effort has been made to achieve

gender

equality. I

support

this

idea because many

women

have fewer professional and educational

opportunities

than

men

Firstly

, it is evident that

women

have fewer

opportunities

than

men

because

women

are less likely to be hired and promoted than

men

. Having the same rights and

opportunities

means that both

women

and

men

have access to the same professional

opportunities

However

, many companies evaluate

women

and

men

, considering their

gender

Additionally

, companies still have a glass ceiling that deters

women

from getting promoted.

Therefore

, it is clear that

women

have less access to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

professional

opportunities

Moreover

women

have less

support

from their families than their male family members. A lot of people in Korea still have stereotypes that

women

should stay home and

support

their families. There are many cases where some parents do not

support

their daughter the same as their son. Some girls sacrifice themselves because of that mindset.

Besides

, some people think that

women

should stay home and bring up their children. Even though both

women

and

men

have the right to pursue a career, these kinds of thoughts have led

women

to stop pursuing a career and be

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

housemaker. To sum up, it is undeniable that

gender

equality has not been achieved yet because

women

have fewer chances to get promoted and have less

support

than

men

Submitted by gaingloryb on Sat Jan 22 2022

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Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
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Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

253 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Gender equality has not been achieved in our society. Women still do not have the same rights and opportunities as men. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

In some areas of the US, a curfew is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion about this?

Nowadays teenagers are suffering from a lot of pressure. Write an essay of about 250 words to list the cause of teen pressure and give solutions.

Some people say that the main environmental problem our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

More and more people are using the internet to contact existing friends and even make new friends. Some people are of the opinion that this has strengthened relationships between existing friends, whilst others think the opposite is true. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.