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Band 7.5

Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spent elsewhere. To extent what do you agree with this view?

#people #government #money #arts
Some
people
 believe that the
government
 invests a lot of
money
 in artistic activities and claim that there are other ways to utilize the
money
. I strongly support
this
 point of view and the
government
 should spend their budget on other things.
First
, nobody could deny that the
arts
 enrich
people
's minds and sometimes give inspiration to them.
For example
, according to some research, it is said that the majority of famous scientists,
such
 as Einstein, who
first
 introduced the theory of relativity, visit a museum at least once a month.
This
 result suggests that there might be a correlation between social success and a positive feeling of
arts
.
Thus
, some
people
 think that it should be justified that spend a lot of
money
 on artistic facilities
such
 as a museum.
However
, it should be highlighted that the original role of the
government
 is supporting citizen's life and building a wealthy society.
For example
, in the modern world, the disparity between haves and have-nots is larger than before,
therefore
 many
people
 are suffering from poverty. The
government
 should invest more
money
 in helping
such
 kinds of
people
 than in the
arts
. Aside from problems of poverty, there are a lot of issues in the world
such
 as climate change. A country should invest
money
 in deterring global warming. From the viewpoints of these aspects, I firmly reckon that the priority of spending budgets on artistic activities may be much less than on solving social big issues. In conclusion, the drawbacks of investing
money
 in
arts
 outweigh the benefits,
therefore
, the
government
 spends their budget on other things
such
 as poverty problems.
Submitted by hayamiosaki on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • enriching society
  • promoting cultural understanding
  • development of talent
  • creative industries
  • economic benefits
  • generate revenue
  • cultural heritage
  • identity
  • prioritize spending
  • needs of the majority
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