IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

The exploration and development of safe alternatives to fossil fuel should be the most important global priority today. TO what extend do you agree or disagree?

#exploration #development #alternatives #fuel #priority
We have moved into an era where we live in a constant scout and amplification of energy in form of fuels, and
therefore
 soon we might come across a shortage of
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 resources. While some believe that humans have several challenges to face today from the lack of nutrition to employment, I can affirm that the study exploitation of fossil fuel must be immediately noticed and taken care of before it’s too late. In
this
 essay, I will attempt to emphasise the necessity of an alternative source of power in form of
renewable-fuel
Correct your spelling
renewable fuel
show examples
. To commence with it is no secret that
Correct article usage
the greenhouse-effect
show examples
greenhouse-effect
Correct your spelling
greenhouse effect
show examples
 is increasing the temperature of the planet, and
therefore
 climate change is an immediate result of it. It is apparent that fuel, diesel used in today’s transportation system produces immense
greenhouse-gases
Correct your spelling
greenhouse gases
show examples
 which is in turn directly responsible for trapping heat into
earth’s
Correct article usage
the earth’s
show examples
 atmosphere.
Therefore
,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
natural replacement is necessary.
For instance
, we could use wind energy to drive windmills and produce electricity.
Also
, running water in the rivers could be utilised to drive turbines producing voltage differences.
Thus
, it must be kept in mind that to prevent any
further
 natural destruction, we must switch to an alternative source of power.
Furthermore
, the fossils have disintegrated
since
Change preposition
for
show examples
 years to develop into coal, oil and others. It is
therefore
Add the comma(s)
,therefore
show examples
, a limited zone to be of use, it will surely be emptied someday.
On the other hand
, spring, sunlight or solar power, air, can be reduced and recycled every day.
Hence
, it will never run out
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and will be more reliable for future use. Overall, it could be understood that the requirement to save the environment and simultaneously to charge our batteries, we must search for a
renewable-energy-source
Correct your spelling
renewable-energy source
show examples
. There is no denying that it comes on the top of our priority list, and so I strongly recommend highlighting
it’s
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
urgentness
Correct your spelling
currentness
. In
conclusion
Add a comma
,conclusion
show examples
 I must say that the current research and development programme conducted by the government isn’t enough. It is not only the job of the government, but it is
also
 the duty of the citizens to avoid using diesel cars by switching
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
 electric cars, thereby saving the environment.
Submitted by madhushreeroy68 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • fossil fuels
  • renewable energy
  • climate change
  • sustainability
  • pollution
  • energy security
  • job creation
  • technological innovation
  • energy independence
  • price stability
  • environmental degradation
  • resource sustainability
  • international collaboration
  • global priority
  • energy transition
What to do next:
Look at other essays: