IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is better for children to grow up in the countryside than in a large city. Use specific reasons and examples to develop your essay.

#children #countryside #city
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is widely believed that
children
Use synonyms
 who live in the
countryside
Use synonyms
 have a better quality of life than
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
city
Use synonyms
. I disagree with the statement because
children
Use synonyms
 have a better education in a big
city
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, they have access to better healthcare, which involves that growing up in a large
city
Use synonyms
 is good
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
children
Use synonyms
.
First
Linking Words
 of all, education in
big
Add an article
a big
the big
show examples
city
Use synonyms
 is often better than
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 field because there are many
option
Change to a plural noun
options
show examples
 to choose to educate
children
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, when I was a child I remember that when my parents were choosing the school that I had to go
, they
Change preposition
to, they
show examples
 had many options.
However
Linking Words
, my cousin who lived in the
countryside
Use synonyms
, their parents had only one school to choose
.
Change preposition
from.
show examples
 In fact,
this
Linking Words
 reality is common in my country especially in towns far
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
 the
city
Use synonyms
. In the
second
Linking Words
 place, in a large
Use synonyms
city
Add a comma
,city
show examples
 there is more access to healthcare than
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
countryside
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, I remember once in the News
shown
Wrong verb form
showing
show examples
 people who live in the south of Chile, a
city
Use synonyms
 in
Use synonyms
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
show examples
 of Puerto Natales,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
needed to be transported in a helicopter to Santiago in emergencies. Indeed,
this
Linking Words
 is detrimental to
Children
Use synonyms
 in terms of quality of life.
For instance
Linking Words
, many
children
Use synonyms
 who need rehabilitation, travel from the south to Santiago which take many hours. In conclusion,
Use synonyms
Children
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
 who live in cities could have better opportunities to study and
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 best access to
Correct article usage
a clinic
show examples
clinic
Fix the agreement mistake
clinics
show examples
 than the
children
Use synonyms
 who live in the
countryside
Use synonyms
.
Accordingly
Linking Words
, I disagree with the statement that
grow
Wrong verb form
growing
show examples
 up
in
Correct your spelling
infield
show examples
field
Correct article usage
a field
show examples
 is better
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
children
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by roberto.carrascopizarro on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: