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In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

#cultures #children #message
For years, in some countries, adults usually lectured that
children
 can attain anything if they work at their utmost.
Such
 a lesson is beautiful and sound. Yet I am going to discuss a bigger 'picture' of
this
 message with its pros and cons in
this
 essay. Certainly, there are several advantages associated with
this
 notion, and one of the most obvious ones is to impart optimism to young people.
That is
, leading them to nurture personalities
such
 as discipline and patience is proper education in their early years. Indeed, when they believe in the message, they would be diligent and patient in doing everything on a regular basis
such
 as studying. In the long run, when they are grown up, they would be totally capable of handling
such
 hardships to achieve their objectives. On the macro level,
this
 could benefit the whole society with qualified and tough citizens.
However
, parents should notice that there is
also
 a blurred line between optimism and fallacy. Given
this
, the lecture could in turn make
children
misunderstood
Wrong verb form
misunderstand
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about
Change preposition
apply
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the world, and they just take it for granted that they could always be successful in everything as long as they are persistent enough.
Subsequently
, when they face failures in the later years, they would be extremely disappointed because the outcomes are not what they expected. The higher the expectation level is, the more severe the depression is.
Therefore
, it could somehow ruin the belief and discourage
children
 to take a
second
 chance in their lives. In a nutshell, though the idea of those words is of goodwill.
Nonetheless
, from my
viewpoints
Fix the agreement mistake
viewpoint
show examples
, I think that people should teach their
children
 with a deeper and wider perspective on
this
 so that they would not misinterpret it. Only by doing so can the young generation will be raised and cultivated with a more sound and acute ideology.
Submitted by namhoangvan.306 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • achieve
  • try hard
  • positive mindset
  • self-belief
  • motivates
  • ambitious goals
  • resilience
  • determination
  • confidence
  • self-esteem
  • growth mindset
  • unrealistic expectations
  • disappointment
  • failure
  • effort
  • hard work
  • seek support
  • individual differences
  • abilities
  • capabilities
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