Some people say that the best we to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #health #sports #facilities #effect #measures

There are several means to become healthy both physically and mentally. It is argued that the number of places for

people

to play

sports

should increase so that the overall

people

in the area can be improved.

This

could be one way of improving public health,

however

this

might not be the best. Having more numbers

Change preposition

apply

show examples

sports

facilities could encourage

people

to exercise more resulting in better health. Since most

sports

require a huge area of land and several members, if

such

places are provided,

people

may invite their friends to join the activities.

However

, most

people

nowadays are addicted to the internet, building these facilities might not guarantee that they will be used and it might harm the government financially. There are other methods that could be implemented in order to promote a healthy lifestyle. There are other factors contributing to having a healthy life.

Firstly

, the food

people

consume is one of the main reasons that causes obesity. The kinds of food that are harmful to the body are,

for example

, salty, sweet, and oily.

Thus

, limiting the consumption of these sorts of food could potentially reduce the risk of getting popular diseases,

such

as heart problems, obesity, and diabetes. In European countries, the manufacturers of these foods have to pay a high amount of tax to the government, resulting in an increase in prices for consumers, which is proven to be the right method to discourage

people

to eat less.

Moreover

, one of the main causes of cancer is cigarettes. The selling of it should be strictly banned because it does not only have a negative effect on the consumers, but it

also

has an impact on those nearby. In conclusion, providing

sports

facilities might not be sufficient to encourage

people

to have a healthy life. The government should

also

increase taxes on unhealthy foods and stop the selling of addictive substances.

Submitted by boon.aksornukul on Tue Jan 25 2022

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Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

316 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

public health
sports facilities
physical activity
exercise
chronic diseases
heart disease
obesity
inclusivity
participation
safe environment
social interaction
community engagement
comprehensive approach
health education programs
environmental factors
healthcare infrastructure
quality healthcare services
public health initiatives

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Some people say that the best we to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

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Studying the English language in an English-speaking country is the best but not the only way to learn language. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Many believe that the goal of one’s career should be to pursue a passion while others feel it is merely a way to earn a livelihood. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.