IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Research shows that business meetings, discussions and training are happening online nowadays. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#research #business #meetings #discussions
It is true that there is an increasing number of businesses nowadays having their conferences and training sessions held online.
While
this
 can offer various advantages, it can
also
 bring about some detrimental effects. On the one hand, there are several advantages of
this
 trend that can vastly outweigh its disadvantages. The most obvious advantage is that it can help businesses save unnecessary expenses on arranging meeting rooms, training venues, meeting documents and tea
break
Fix the agreement mistake
breaks
show examples
, which can allow the businesses to use
this
 budget to invest in other vital fields, thereby bringing profit for the company. Another merit worth mentioning is that it can help save time on travelling.
This
 can be seen in meeting online with multi-national corporations. Distance discussion can help to save waiting time on long-haul flights from one nation to another for a conference.
On the other hand
, the drawbacks of holding a company conference are undeniable. The first disadvantage is that meetings rely on a strong connection to the Internet, and
thus
 any breakdown or network congestion can interrupt the discussion.
This
 can lead to the outcome of the conference and it can affect the target of the company. The second downside is that when the staff come to training courses,
due to
 the lack of face-to-face communication and the limited function of some web or software.
This
 may stem from the
employees
Change to a genitive case
employee's
employees'
show examples
inability to understand online guides and instructions.
As a result
Add a comma
,
show examples
productivity and improvement can be very limited. In conclusion,
although
 it can be beneficial in some situations,
this
 development can
also
 be disadvantageous to a certain extent.
Submitted by writingeilts on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Consider balancing your essay by giving roughly equal weight to the advantages and disadvantages. This could provide a more rounded perspective and demonstrate a more thorough discussion of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Improve coherence by using more varied connectors and transitional devices to guide the reader through your argument more smoothly. For instance, phrases like 'Moreover', 'However', or 'Additionally' can help signal shifts in your arguments more clearly.
task achievement
Your essay provides a clear and comprehensive response to the task, effectively discussing both advantages and disadvantages of online business meetings and training.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented, which helps frame your argument coherently.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • virtual collaboration
  • teleconferencing
  • webinar
  • remote access
  • cost efficiency
  • cultural diversity
  • interactive platform
  • networking opportunity
  • sustainability
  • carbon footprint
  • cybersecurity
  • encryption
  • bandwidth
  • digital divide
  • screen fatigue
  • team cohesion
  • asynchronous communication
What to do next:
Look at other essays: