IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#country #language
It has been widely considered that some people who lived in a country that speak a foreign
language
 are likely to have a hard time socializing with others, together with having a living
problem
. In my opinion, I agree with the statement that the
language
 barrier can
cause
 a social and practical
problem
 and I will illustrate
this
 in the essay.
First
 of all, it is undeniable that
language
Correct article usage
the language
show examples
 barrier is the main
cause
 that drives individuals to social problems.
In other words
, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Add an article
the people
show examples
 have lost their confidence as well as self-esteem when they could not communicate or create a conversation with others.
For example
, when you are at the party and local friends are telling something funny but eventually, you are not able to get the rumour.
As a result
, you will feel less confident and
thereafter
 start fading out of the group.
This
 reason
indicate
Change the verb form
indicates
show examples
 why
language
Correct article usage
the language
show examples
 barrier can
cause
such
problem
Correct article usage
a problem
show examples
.
Besides
, living in
Add an article
a country
show examples
Correct article usage
a country
show examples
country
Correct article usage
a country
show examples
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
language
 there is different from where you
are not only
Change the verb form
are not only causing
show examples
cause
 a social
problem
 but
also
, a practical
problem
.
Eventhouhg
Correct your spelling
Even though
, some might be able to understand the
language
, they
are still not be
Change the verb form
are still not
show examples
 able to communicate freely as they wish they could.
For instance
, when you go to a supermarket to buy some groceries and have asked the staff to bring something which you can not think of a word or vocabulary to explain to them,
thus
, you are not getting what you really want. In conclusion, it is hard to stay
socialize
Wrong verb form
socialised
show examples
 when living in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 foreign country especially when you have to speak
Correct your spelling
foreign
foreing
Correct article usage
a foreing
show examples
language
.
Furthermore
, it can
cause
 a practical
problem
 to individuals.
Submitted by mnampimai on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • linguistic proficiency
  • cross-cultural communication
  • miscommunication
  • social integration
  • linguistic alienation
  • cultural dissonance
  • language acquisition
  • communication breakdown
  • interpreter services
  • language courses
  • bilingualism
  • multilingualism
  • language barrier
  • effective communication
  • cultural assimilation
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