In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

6.0 / 9

Band scoreView breakdown ↓

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →

Introduction

In some

countries

Add a comma

,countries

show examples

it’s a common practice to teach

children

Use synonyms

that as far as they work hard, they could achieve anything in their life.

This

Linking Words

essay will outline both the related benefits and drawbacks.

Body paragraph 1

By giving

this

Linking Words

message,

children

Use synonyms

could be more motivated to study harder which may result in getting higher grades.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, some parents try to give them some role models to follow from which they can take the inspiration they need.

Body paragraph 2

It’s almost a solid reality that the actual job market is competitive as never before.

Children

Use synonyms

need to understand that as soon as possible so they could improve their chances to be hired for their dream job and hopefully not face any financial difficulties in the future.

Body paragraph 3

Unfortunately, a couple of drawbacks might be involved as well. Some psychologists warned that

children

Use synonyms

might develop a sense of competitiveness that might be dangerously high, preventing them to enjoy other activities during their free time that help them to develop stable relationships with their friends.

Body paragraph 4

In addition

Linking Words

children

Use synonyms

must bear in mind that the result of their actions doesn’t necessarily depend on their willingness. Sometimes the outcome is influenced by external factors that are simply out of their control, regardless of how much effort they demonstrated when doing their tasks.

Conclusion

To sum up,

children

Use synonyms

that are constantly motivated to work harder as possible might experience better academic results that will help them when seeking a job, but if not correctly balanced, they could develop a wrong attitude and mindset about themselves that badly reflects in their relationships and life expectancies.

jacopo.radice

Jan 25, 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

6.0

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

6 paragraphs

262 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

achieve
try hard
positive mindset
self-belief
motivates
ambitious goals
resilience
determination
confidence
self-esteem
growth mindset
unrealistic expectations
disappointment
failure
effort
hard work
seek support
individual differences
abilities
capabilities

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Some people think that having a set retirement age (e.g. 65 years) for everybody, regardless of occupation, is unfair. They believe that certain workers deserve to retire and receive a pension at an earlier age. Do you agree or disagree? Which types of workers do you think should benefit from early retirement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
It is argued that establishing the same retirement age for every worker without considering the nature of his job is unfair. This essay agrees with the fact that people who have harsh labours should retire earlier and aims to showcase the types of employees who should benefit from it.
7.5
band
In some high schools, part of the curriculum requires students to participate in community work such as helping the elderly or disabled. In what way do children benefit from this? Do you think it should be part of the curriculum?
Some institutions, require secondary school students to help vulnerable society such as persons with disability and old people. This essay will discuss how volunteering can help kids boost their confidence and be more compassionate. And that should be included in their course because it can help them become a good member of society.
7.5
band
Many feel that the common educational system of teachers and students in a classroom will be replaced by the year 2050. Do you agree with this view? Give your opinion.
Whilst it is believed that alternative methods will replace traditional schooling by 2050, I believe it is hard to create human connections and relationships as well as develop moral and ethical values by any means of education but the teacher and student educational method.
8
band
In certain countries, the majority of directors, managers, and senior executives are men. What are the reasons? Is this a positive or negative development?
In particular nations, a vast number of officials, managers and senior executives are chosen among male. In my opinion, it is mainly because many people believe that such career are more appropriate for men. I am also convinced that it is a negative trend and has some drawbacks for the society.
6
band
The best way to reduce traffic congestion in cities is to provide a free public transport service. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give your opinion and examples from your own experience.
in the beginning iam going to write about traffic cities and how we can make them less traffic by providing transpotation services , in every country there is a capital city that mostly is the traffic city and of course people doesn't like it , so I agree that every country must have a public transportation to help people how live in the capital to arrive to wherever they want safely and as soon as possible , there are multiple choices of public transportation , subway, public buses , taxi , however, i disagree about making it free because instead of making the traffic remain on streets we will make it between people , in the street the worse thinge that could happen is an accident , but people are no cars , some people are sick they could have an injury becuse of the crowded free transportation , iam not saying do not provide a public transportation but we should make the prices cheap at least there will not be crowded like it was a free transportation, for example Riyadh city , th...

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

In some high schools, part of the curriculum requires students to participate in community work such as helping the elderly or disabled. In what way do children benefit from this? Do you think it should be part of the curriculum?

Many feel that the common educational system of teachers and students in a classroom will be replaced by the year 2050. Do you agree with this view? Give your opinion.

In certain countries, the majority of directors, managers, and senior executives are men. What are the reasons? Is this a positive or negative development?

The best way to reduce traffic congestion in cities is to provide a free public transport service. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give your opinion and examples from your own experience.