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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that success in life comes from taking risks or chances. Others believe that success results from careful planning. In your opinion, what does success come from

#people #success #life #risks #chances #results
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While
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 some suggest that what makes people succeed comes from risk-taking, others believe that it is a result of thorough planning. From my perspective, I align with both ways to become successful
due to
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 the following reasons. On one hand, it is reasonable to assert that taking chances or
risks
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 is one of the determinants of accomplishment. Only when being ready to face challenges may people gain useful experience and life lessons, as they can catch sight of their mistakes, learn from them and continue to make progress.
Also
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, it is not until humans embrace hardships that they will develop their characteristics for the better, especially essential ones like bravery or courage, not only benefiting their path
for
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to
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 success but
also
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 helping people get considerable admiration. A prominent case for
this
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 illustration is Benjamin Franklin.
Although
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 he knew how dangerous it was to conduct a lightning protection system, he managed to get out of his comfort zone, disregarding his own safety to experiment with his study. Had it not been for Benjamin's fearlessness to bear
risks
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, we would not have
such
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 an important invention for many daily activities. On another hand, mindful preparation is universally as important as being intrepid. Careful planning secures the way for attaining achievement stably
while
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 still avoiding negative consequences taking
risks
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 might bring out. It advances the trait of cautiousness, alongside forethought for humans to be conscious, not falling into false dawns.
For example
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, many prominent businesses in the world have successfully held their positions despite the competitive market, thanks to attentive consideration. All things considered, both options are of huge significance. It is crucial to run
risks
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 and get thoughtful evaluations so that a person is likely to thrive triumphantly.
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coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, use more connecting phrases and conjunctions to ensure a clearer flow between ideas.
task achievement
In task achievement, try to expand on your examples to provide a more comprehensive understanding. Instead of just mentioning Benjamin Franklin, explain more about how his actions directly led to his success.
introduction conclusion
The essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion.
task achievement examples
The examples provided are relevant and reinforce the points made regarding planning and risk-taking.
task achievement response
The essay clearly addresses both views presented in the prompt, showing a balanced discussion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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