IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Task 2: Some people believe that the best way to encourage children that have a healthy diet at school and some people believe that parents should teach them to have a healthy diet. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

#people #children #diet #school #parents
Nowadays,maintaining
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
good
health
become
Change the verb form
becomes
show examples
 challenging.many people follow a variety of rules to acquire fitness like
excercise
Correct your spelling
exercise
,diet,gym.but,here,public believe that youngsters should learn how to take diet at school only is the effective method to improve their
health
 conditions.while
,
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apply
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community argue that
parents
 should educate their offsprings to have
a proper
Remove the article
proper food
a portion of proper food
show examples
food
.In my opinion,
parents
 should take care of their
children
 by giving
protein
Correct pronoun usage
them protein
show examples
food
.
this
 essay will discuss
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
both points. To embark on,these days,schools
also
 providing
food
 to their students,so,academy make sure that
food
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
a good proteins
Correct the article-noun agreement
good proteins
a good protein
show examples
.they try to give only nutrient
food
.
therefore
,there is a chance to attain
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
good
health
.
for instance
,government
oragnasations
Correct your spelling
organisations
organizations
 supply bread to everyone who
participate
Change the verb form
participates
show examples
 in their organisations.
therefore
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should allow nutrients
food
 like eggs,fruits,milk. On
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
other
Change the wording
another
show examples
 side,some
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 consider that,
parents
 do not allow their
children
 to eat outside
food
 like biryani,fast
food
 as these are fat foods if we eat these types of
food
 there is a chance to become fat.they teach what kind of
food
 is better for
health
,
moreover
,they
also
 educate what sort of bread is not good for
health
Add the comma(s)
, as a result,
show examples
as a result
 they get a little knowledge about
food
.
for example
,
parents
 give almond and cashew nuts everyday morning
their
Change preposition
to their
show examples
children
.because,these are rich in proteins.
furthermore
,
patents
Correct your spelling
parents
show examples
 should encourage
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
children
 to take fruits like apples,grapes.if we eat ample fruits we need not go to
hospital
Add an article
the hospital
show examples
. To conclude,without
health
 we can not reach our goals.so,we must take care of our
health
 by providing good
food
 to our own.youngsters are the pillars of our country,
therefore
,
parents
 and schools
are encourage
Change the verb form
are encouraging
show examples
 them to have a healthy diet.
Submitted by anushachenna15 on

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