Some people think that because some children fins some subjects mathematics and philosophy difficult they ought to be optional instead of compulsory. To what extend do you agree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is argued that some students struggle with different courses like math and
philosophy
, so they think it is better to make these
subjects
optional rather than compulsory.
This
essay completely disagrees with that statement because science
subjects
and
philosophy
are important for the
brain
's development, and these
subjects
are essential in our daily
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
Firstly
, studying hard
subjects
such
as mathematics and
philosophy
makes
children
's brains develop fast. because when they try to solve a variety of problems with different levels from easy ones to hardest ones, their brains will be under pressure, which means that the
brain
's cells will develop fast.
Moreover
, if
children
do not
study
these
subjects
, their
brain
skills will be limited.
this
is because they do not try to challenge themselves.
For example
, a recent
study
found that the rate of
brain
development was higher in
children
who solved problems and studied
philosophy
more than in other
children
who did not
study
these
subjects
. Another reason why students should learn maths and
philosophy
is essential for their life skills. because these improve their ability to face any problem in their lives.
Also
, we have maths in our daily lives
such
as when we buy something from a supermarket, we have to know how much we need to buy. So studying sciences is an important thing and everyone should learn it.
Furthermore
,
philosophy
makes students think differently, and they will express their feelings easily. In conclusion,
an
Correct pronoun usage
it an
show examples
essential to
study
mathematics and
philosophy
because these are important for the
brain
's growth, and help
children
in their lives later on. It recommended that schools should make intensive courses to help
children
understand these
subjects
.
Submitted by saja.alotaibi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Include more specific examples to support your arguments. This will make your essay more convincing and relatable.
task achievement
Try to use a wider range of vocabulary to avoid repetition and enhance the expressiveness of your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each body paragraph starts with a clear topic sentence, summarizing the main idea of the paragraph.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear and relevant introduction and conclusion, both of which are tied back to the main statement.
coherence cohesion
The arguments are logical and well-organized, making it easy for the reader to follow your train of thought.
task achievement
You provided a balanced discussion on the importance of mathematics and philosophy, highlighting their roles in brain development and practical life.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: