Some people think that because some children fins some subjects mathematics and philosophy difficult they ought to be optional instead of compulsory. To what extend do you agree?

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It is argued that some students struggle with different courses like math and

philosophy

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, so they think it is better to make these

subjects

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optional rather than compulsory.

This

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essay completely disagrees with that statement because science

subjects

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and

philosophy

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are important for the

brain

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's development, and these

subjects

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are essential in our daily

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

Firstly

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, studying hard

subjects

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such

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as mathematics and

philosophy

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makes

children

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's brains develop fast. because when they try to solve a variety of problems with different levels from easy ones to hardest ones, their brains will be under pressure, which means that the

brain

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's cells will develop fast.

Moreover

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, if

children

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do not

study

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these

subjects

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, their

brain

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skills will be limited.

this

Linking Words

is because they do not try to challenge themselves.

For example

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, a recent

study

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found that the rate of

brain

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development was higher in

children

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who solved problems and studied

philosophy

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more than in other

children

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who did not

study

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these

subjects

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. Another reason why students should learn maths and

philosophy

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is essential for their life skills. because these improve their ability to face any problem in their lives.

Also

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, we have maths in our daily lives

such

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as when we buy something from a supermarket, we have to know how much we need to buy. So studying sciences is an important thing and everyone should learn it.

Furthermore

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philosophy

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makes students think differently, and they will express their feelings easily. In conclusion,

Correct pronoun usage

it an

show examples

essential to

study

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mathematics and

philosophy

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because these are important for the

brain

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's growth, and help

children

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in their lives later on. It recommended that schools should make intensive courses to help

children

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understand these

subjects

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saja.alotaibiMon Jul 15 2024

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task achievement

Include more specific examples to support your arguments. This will make your essay more convincing and relatable.

task achievement

Try to use a wider range of vocabulary to avoid repetition and enhance the expressiveness of your ideas.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each body paragraph starts with a clear topic sentence, summarizing the main idea of the paragraph.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear and relevant introduction and conclusion, both of which are tied back to the main statement.

coherence cohesion

The arguments are logical and well-organized, making it easy for the reader to follow your train of thought.

task achievement

You provided a balanced discussion on the importance of mathematics and philosophy, highlighting their roles in brain development and practical life.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

278 words

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Some people think that because some children fins some subjects mathematics and philosophy difficult they ought to be optional instead of compulsory. To what extend do you agree?

Your opinion

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives

It is becoming more and more difficult to eacape the influence of the media on our lives. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of living in a media rich society.

Planting trees is very important for the environment. Some people say trees should be planted in the vacant areas of city and towns, while others say housing facilities should be built instead. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people claim there are different ways of saving energy (electricity and gas), such as using energy for shorter periods of time in the workplace and not using electricity/gas one day a week. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your own opinion.

Some people think that the increasing use of computers and mobile phones for communication has a negative effect on young people’s reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?