IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

A friend has told you that he or she feels lonely in their new city away from their family. Write to your friend. In your letter: Explain why people can feel this way Give some ideas on how to solve the problem Ask your friend to contact you and tell you if this works

Dear
Ms.
Change the punctuation
Ms
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Ngoc, I hope you are doing well. I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to share
you
Change preposition
with you
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about
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apply
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many stories.
Firstly
Linking Words
, I know that you feel lonely when you move to Hue
city
Fix capitalization
City
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. As I know, it takes you about 5 hours to visit your hometown
for
Change preposition
in
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 Hue city by bus. It is difficult to travel on a daily basis. It is better to stay there and return
your
Change preposition
to your
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 home when you want.
Besides
Linking Words
 that, I think you should engage in public activities to make new friends and relax. What is more, you can make videos with your loved ones after work, it is a great way to make you happy and comfortable.
In addition
Linking Words
, when you feel lonely, you can call me, and
then
Linking Words
 we can share and chat together. In my opinion, sharing can serve as an efficient way to strengthen
friend bonds
Use the right word
friendships
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 and lower stress levels. I am looking forward to hearing from you soon. Your
secerely
Correct your spelling
sincerely
, Van Anh

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task response
Explain the reason for loneliness with simple ideas and examples.
task response
Add more practical ideas to solve loneliness, like join a club, go to small meet-ups, and talk with family regularly.
coherence and cohesion
Present a clear order: state issue, give ideas, then ask friend to contact you.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple links like and, but, then to show how ideas go together.
tone
Friendly tone and care for the friend are clear.
content
The letter shows care and offers help.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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