IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

A friend has told you that he or she feels lonely in their new city away from their family. Write to your friend. In your letter: Explain why people can feel this way Give some ideas on how to solve the problem Ask your friend to contact you and tell you if this works

Dear Ms Ngoc, I hope you are doing well
,
Punctuation problem
.
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 I'm fine. I am writing to share with you many stories. I know you feel lonely in a new
city
Use synonyms
, but I think it is fine.
before
Fix capitalization
Before
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, I used to feel tired when I came new
city
Use synonyms
, but a quiet time, it's fine. I think many people feel lonely when they come new
city
Use synonyms
, because all things are new ,
such
Linking Words
 as a new house, new friends, work or study,... But they are happy when they are already familiar with all things in the new
city
Use synonyms
. I think
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 you should have a new friend in your free time to release stress and promote relationships.
Besides
Linking Words
 that, you
also
Linking Words
 should participate
Change preposition
in teamsports
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teamsports
Correct your spelling
team sports
 to make new friends and improve your well-being. You can call videos for me when you feel lonely to share with me. I hope you will feel happy in the new
city
Use synonyms
. Please reply to me. Wish best wishes Van anh

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structure
Split the letter into 3 parts: opening, why loneliness happens, and what you can do. Use a new line for each part.
grammar
Use simple grammar and clear phrases. Check verbs and pronouns.
coherence
Keep one idea in each paragraph. Start with the idea and give a small detail.
coherence
Link ideas with easy words like and, because, but to show how ideas fit.
formatting
Finish with a friendly closing and ask to hear back.
content
The letter shows care for the friend.
tone
It asks the friend to stay in touch and to try simple steps.
formatting
There is a greeting and a polite closing.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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