IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some cities and towns believe that building outdoor recreation and public spaces is important. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#cities #towns #recreation #spaces
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In
 my opinion, it is true that the authorities should invest in building huge outdoor
spaces
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 for the public, as it will promote tourism and public health. Everyone must agree that
this
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 investment will be built. In the forthcoming paragraph, I shall explain my point of view in detail. Primarily, as we are moving towards development, the demand for outdoor public space is
also
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 doubling. Outdoor public places are important for more than just aesthetic reasons. It provides a communal area for
people
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 to connect with nature and other
people
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. It
also
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 allows youngsters to participate in a variety of outdoor activities,
such
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 as the famous Lodhi Garden of Delhi.
This
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 park helps appreciate the beauty of the town
while
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also
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 providing opportunities for
people
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 from various areas to come and spend leisure time and improve their general health.
Besides
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 that, outdoor
spaces
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also
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 help to boost tourism. It attracts visitors from all over the world to view and enjoy the area's natural beauty. New York City's Central Park is a classic example. The city was well-known for business visits prior to its development. The construction of Central Park not only allowed locals to participate in a variety of activities but
also
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 attracted non-business visitors from all over the world.
However
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, some
people
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 think that spending too much money on outdoor
spaces
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 is a complete waste of money. But it is
also
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 equally true that we cannot overlook the reality of the growing demand for fresh air and greenery. In conclusion, investing in outdoor
spaces
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 improves the look of a city and helps to promote tourism.
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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coherence cohesion
Introduction should clearly present your opinion with a thesis statement that introduces the main points of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure by using clear paragraphing and linking words to better connect ideas and paragraphs.
task achievement
Develop your main points with more detailed explanations and more varied examples. This can include data, expert opinions, or more diverse scenarios.
task achievement
Maintain relevance by directly addressing the topic throughout the essay. Ensure each paragraph contributes to supporting your stance.
task achievement
Avoid generalized statements and strive for specific, clear arguments. This enhances the overall clarity and persuasiveness of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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