IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some parents believe that cell phones are harmful to children, while others disagree. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#parents #cell #phones #children
Some people believe that cellphones are not beneficial for children, because youngsters waste time using phones. While other people believe that kids should have mobiles and their own privacy.
Firstly
, phones are beneficial for many children because youngsters can communicate with their parents or with anyone else if they are in danger. For ,example if a class goes on a field trip and a student gets lost and if he/ she has a phone they can easily communicate with people. Sometimes children use mobile to have privacy,
such
 as if the child's family are getting divorced the child can talk to their friend in the text so no one knows. So these telephones can help youngsters in lots of ways.
Secondly
, mobiles can distract offspring in many ways, like if a kid is studying for a test
then
 someone texts them on their mobile they can get distracted easily by texting back. Mobiles
also
 can hack kids for instants someone calls them and asks them about personal details and can kidnap them. In ,summary offspring can have phones but they have to be careful of how they use them. I opine that kids should have their own telephones and they can have their own privacy too.
Submitted by nrama.test on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: