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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that money makes life comfortable. Others think that a large amount of wealth brings more troubles. Do the advantages of having a lot of money outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #money #life #amount #wealth #troubles
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It is believed by some that a comfortable lifestyle is possible with
wealth
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; others,
however
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, consider
money
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 to be a source of hardships and plights in life.
The financial
Correct article usage
Financial
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 stability is advantageous because it allows
people
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 not only to afford a good standard of essential necessities but
also
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 helps them to enjoy the luxuries of life.
Although
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 the rich always have increased security risks, the benefits of economic strength are far more significant. The blessing of
wealth
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 enables
people
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 to get
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 high standard of basic needs.
For instance
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, healthcare and educational facilities offered by private sectors are often excellent as compared to the governmental departments. In order to afford these private services a big amount of
money
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 is needed.
Similarly
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, for having a lavish lifestyle, excess
money
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 is required to bear the expenses.
Therefore
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, the elite class is entitled to enjoy luxury accommodations, new models of posh cars and the latest electronic gadgets because of their assets and bank balance. These are important benefits of
wealth
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.
On the other hand
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, the upper class in a society is always vulnerable to safety issues.
This
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 is because of the fact that they are more prone to burglary, theft and robbery as they have plenty of financial resources to attract criminals.
Thus
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,
wealth
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 endangers the safety of
people
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; so, they often require security guards to protect themselves and their finances. In conclusion, despite the security threats to the rich
people
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 and their belongings,
money
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 is a key factor to afford necessities and luxuries for the sake of a better standard of living.
Hence
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, the benefits of
wealth
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 outweigh its drawbacks.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • assets
  • investment
  • quality of life
  • employment opportunities
  • healthcare
  • freedom
  • philanthropic activities
  • stress and anxiety
  • financial status
  • trust issues
  • jealousy
  • privacy
  • scrutiny
What to do next:
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