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Band 7.5

Some people think that it is beneficial for children to do paid work, while others think that it can be harmful for children. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #children #work
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Few industries and organizations have started to employ
children
 under the pretext of support and upliftment. While
this
 sounds beneficial there are many underlying issues that might cause harm to the
children
. In
this
 essay, I'll reason why the disadvantages outweigh the advantages. On the one hand, we can teach
children
 responsibilities by employing them from adolescence. Making them
work
 for payment will allow them to understand the worth of money.
This
 will make them independent and possibly develop a good attitude towards
work
.
For example
, a recent study showed that people who started earning from an early age either part-time or full time have more
work
 ethics than their counterparts.
On the other hand
,
children
 who are employed can't focus much on studies as they are constantly reminded of the
work
. Having less knowledge will diminish future opportunities which require skills obtained from a school or a university.
Furthermore
, working for money puts a lot of mental stress on an individual which might give rise to many health issues like lack of sleep. Recently, a colleague of mine was denied a promotion even though he had more experience because he didn't obtain the required skill. Due to
this
, he has developed insomnia which drastically deteriorated his performance at
work
. To sum it up, though making
children
work
 for money teaches them individuality and responsibility, it comes with a great cost. Lack of knowledge will force them to undertake less paid jobs, which will take a toll on their mental health resulting in a depressing life.
Submitted by faizishaik05 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • beneficial
  • harmful
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • financial independence
  • responsibility
  • valuable skills
  • impact
  • education
  • exploitation
  • negative effects
  • social life
What to do next:
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