IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Learning English at school is often seen as more important than learning local languages. If these are not taught, many are at risk of dying out. In your opinion, is it important for everyone to learn English? Should we try to ensure the survival of local languages and, if so, how? You should give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge to support your response.

#english #school #languages #risk #support
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Nowadays,
English
Use synonyms
 is becoming widely required knowledge in many
countries
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 as accelerated globalization with the internet development and cost-friendly transportation, communication with a common
language
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 improves efficiency at daily and business levels.
Thus
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, as multiple nations acknowledge the importance of
English
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 and its convenience, less consideration of the
mother
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language
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 has been put in place.
Although
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 it is handy if
English
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 is taught at school, own
language
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 should be considered with priority as it conveys national pride and identity and cultural character of the
countries
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. Without the identity of the nation, the differentiation of
countries
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 would not exist.
Thus
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, the governments should take action to protect their own languages. There are several ways to protect the
language
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 of own.
Firstly
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, the
mother
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language
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 should be taught as a primary
language
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 at every school.
whereas
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 learning a second or third
language
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 can be guided at school to access worldwide resources and networking globally.
In addition
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, there are many populations who live overseas and talk in their languages less. The government should promote its cultural importance and benefits to those people to support them to talk in their
language
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 more and more and may implement the program for teaching national languages to kids living overseas. In conclusion,
although
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 learning
English
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 is useful to people who work and network globally,
native
Correct article usage
the native
show examples
language
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 must be put first
due to
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 its benefits for nations.
Therefore
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, the regulation should support prioritising own
language
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 to be taught first at the local level and national people all over the world to remember their
mother
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language
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. In many
countries
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, studying
English
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 is considered paramount to the
mother
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language
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,
otherwise
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 living in a modern environment will be much more challenging. In my perspective,
however
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, the native
language
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 is more crucial than the other
language
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 to learn
although
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 there are advantages to studying
English
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 and own
language
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 of the
countries
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 should be preserved in many ways.
Submitted by yumituul on

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task achievement
Use more relevant and specific examples to support arguments. This can help provide a clearer and more compelling response.
task achievement
Provide clearer and more comprehensive explanations for each main point. Elaborating on how and why certain measures should be taken would improve the essay.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that all paragraphs are well connected and that ideas transition smoothly from one to another to enhance coherence.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow of the essay by structuring paragraphs in a way that each presents a distinct point. This will make it easier for the reader to follow the argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which encapsulate the main argument effectively.
task achievement
The response addresses the task and provides a relevant discussion on the importance of native languages alongside English.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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