IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that younger family members should be legally responsible for supporting older family members when they become physically, mentally and financially unable to look after themselves. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #members
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There are some
people
Use synonyms
 who would argue that young
people
Use synonyms
 should take legally more responsibility for caring for their old
parents
Use synonyms
 who can not look after themselves mentally, physically as well financially. Personally, I believe that there are some drawbacks of the above trend, as will be explained. On the one hand, taking care of old
people
Use synonyms
 consistently can create some difficulties for young
people
Use synonyms
 in daily
life
Use synonyms
. With the acceleration of
people
Use synonyms
's living tempo, young
people
Use synonyms
 are quite busy that can not spare enough time for their old
parents
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, they face heavy pressure from their society, work and families.
In addition
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
, they have to shoulder the responsibility in the face of caring and providing a happy
life
Use synonyms
 for old
people
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, it is a burden for them that they cannot sit the whole day talking with their
parents
Use synonyms
. They have to concentrate more on their work. Because, the more they devote themselves to work, the better
life
Use synonyms
 they can provide for old
parents
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, special old-man clubs can offer entertainment facilities and bounteous food. The old
people
Use synonyms
 can there make some new companies and friends establishing good relationships with them.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, young
people
Use synonyms
 should pay more attention to old
parents
Use synonyms
 providing a happy
life
Use synonyms
. Despite the benefits of old man clubs, young
people
Use synonyms
 themselves should take off their old
parents
Use synonyms
. There older
people
Use synonyms
 may feel lonely that miss their daughters, sons and grandchildren and
also
Linking Words
, want to celebrate the special holiday events together with all family members at home. They prefer a family atmosphere. To sum up, I think younger family members should provide a good living environment by caring for them.
Submitted by uluga2002 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: