In many countries people are concerned about the number of children who are overweight: Reasons and solutions.

#countries #people #children

The controversial topic concerning overweight never fails to attract public attention. Even many people around the world are worried about the increasing number of

children

who are suffering from the overweight problem. The reason for

this

phenomenon could be due to lack of activity and a bad diet. That's why increasing awareness among offspring and introducing physical training courses to schools could be considered effective solutions. The number of overweighted

children

is increasing in many places in the world which begs a question: Why

this

is happening? Some think that the reason behind

this

issue could be because

lack

Change preposition

of lack

show examples

of exercise, and

aslo

Correct your spelling

also

because

eating

Change preposition

of eating

show examples

large amounts of junk food.

For example

, some nations conducted

researches

Fix the agreement mistake

research

show examples

to figure out why the figure of overweighted

children

is increasing among their society, and they found that 80% of the offspring that are suffering from

this

issue are not doing any physical exercise and they

also

have bad eating habits. That's why it is beyond any

doubts

Fix the agreement mistake

doubt

show examples

that these reasons are to blame. If

this

is the case, what are

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

possible quick fixes to

this

difficulty

that is

facing many countries? Solutions have to be doable, practical, and easy.

For example

, it cannot be stressed enough that countries that increased

children

's awareness towards

this

risk, got some good results.

Moreover

, they introduced some physical exercise courses into their school's curriculum.

Consequently

, the statistic of offspring that were suffering from

this

difficulty decreased. For these reasons, some believe that these methods could be effective. In conclusion, due to lack of physical training and bad eating habits, offspring with overweight difficulties are increasing among many societies.

This

essay discussed some solutions to

this

problem like increasing offspring's awareness and introducing new training courses to the schools.

Submitted by aymanshabakaa on Sat Jan 29 2022

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

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To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

292 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In many countries people are concerned about the number of children who are overweight: Reasons and solutions.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Some people believe that entertainers are paid too much and their impact on society is negative, while others disagree and believe that they deserve the money that they make because of their positive effects on society. Discuss both opinions and give your own opinion.

12/1 Some people say free time activities for children should be organized by parents. Others say that children should be free to choose what they do in their free time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people want governments to spend money looking for life on other planets. Others, however, think this is a waste of public money when there are so many problems on earth. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Topic:Nowadays, children watch a lot of TV and play video games. However, some think that these activities are not beneficial for a child’s mental health.

task 2: in some countries, young people have become richer, healthier and live longer, but they are less happy. What are the causes? What can be done to address the problem?