Task 2: Some people think that good health is a basic human need, so medical services should not be run by profit-making companies. Do the advantages of private health care outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #health #services #companies #care

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Some

people

claim that good health plays a crucial role in their lives.

Therefore

, there is a debate that private hospitals should not provide medical

services

Although

this

scenario can offer several merits and demerits,

this

essay will argue that the benefits of

this

eclipsed the drawbacks. On the one hand, private hospitals

also

cause several shortcomings. Given that the private centre provides convenient medical

services

, the

patients

have to pay exorbitant costs. By doing

this

patients

must expend high bills, which is not suitable for poor

people

especially those without medical insurance.

Moreover

, social inequalities for applying medical

services

increase because some poor residents can not afford expensive costs.

For instance

people

who own rich property can receive prompt and high-quality care,

however

, others only face lower

services

in the public category.

This

leads to discrimination in

people

services

even untimely treatment in emergency situations.

On the other hand

, despite the detrimental aspects, the private

healthcare

centre brings some positive aspects.

First,

it can reduce the workload of public medical hospitals. With the appearance of many private companies, the number of

patients

going to the public will decrease.

This

can result in a decrease in the experience of waiting times of inhabitants who make an appointment with doctors

as well as

reduce the shortage of experts about health. Another advantage is that the private

healthcare

company gives more opportunities for

patients

to access cutting-edge quality

services

and professionals from specific fields immediately depending on their excellent financial resources.

This

hospital tends to invest more money in improving modern amenities with state-of-the-art equipment and technologies, which allows

patients

to receive top medical procedures and treatments than the public centre. In conclusion,

while

private

healthcare

offers some disadvantages

such

as high cost and

healthcare

inequalities, these will bring more advantages including reducing the workload or advanced technologies. It seems to me that the merits are more considerable than its demerits.

Submitted by phamnhung275 on Sat Aug 03 2024

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task achievement

Your essay addresses the prompt effectively, presenting both sides of the argument. However, while your ideas are clear, some of them could be further developed for depth. Try to expand more on specific examples and evidence to support your claims.

coherence cohesion

The essay follows a logical structure, and paragraphs are well-linked. However, a few transitions between ideas could be smoother for better readability. You might want to use more transitional phrases to help guide the reader more easily through your arguments.

introduction conclusion present

Your introduction and conclusion are well-structured, summarizing the main points effectively and providing a clear stance. This enhances the overall flow and comprehension of your essay.

supported main points

The main points in your essay are adequately supported, giving your arguments credibility. This is a strong element in achieving coherence and cohesion in your writing.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

319 words

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Task 2: Some people think that good health is a basic human need, so medical services should not be run by profit-making companies. Do the advantages of private health care outweigh the disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

IN THE FUTURE ROBOTS WILL DO MORE AND MORE JOBS INSTEAD OF HUMANS. DOES THIS DEVELOPMENT HAVE MOREADVANTAGES OF DISADVANTAGES?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some people believe that exploring outer space is important because it expands human knowledge and might lead to discoveries that will benefit humanity in the future. Other people believe that space exploration is a waste of money that could be better spent solving immediate problems here on Earth.

Information technology enables many people to do their work outside their workplace (e.g. at home, when travelling, etc.). Do the benefits of this mobility outweigh the disadvantages?