Children today are too dependent on computers and electronics entertainment it would be better to encourage them to spend more time outside playing sports and games. Do you agree or disagree?

#children #computers #electronics #entertainment #time #sports #games

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In recent times, there have been concerns about the increasing dependency of kids on indoor technology-enhanced fun.

However

, some people argue that children should be playing more outside which I completely agree with.

This

essay shall discuss the negative impact of video games and

then

the benefits of open-space activities followed by a reasoned conclusion

thereafter

. Currently, it is not uncommon for young ones to remain inside their houses all day

while

engaging in social networking and video games as a form of relaxation.

As a result

, less time is devoted to physical activities necessary for healthy

leaving

Correct your spelling

living

show examples

For example

, a recent study has shown that there

Wrong verb form

has been

show examples

an increasing trend in childhood obesity and diabetes in the

last

decade contributed solely by a sedentary lifestyle.

Therefore

, it is important to emphasize a healthy lifestyle through outdoor sports.

Secondly

, open-space play,

encourage

Correct subject-verb agreement

encourages

show examples

one to develop social skills.

Accordingly

, through physical

contacts

Fix the agreement mistake

contact

show examples

and mingling with friends, the young folks are able to develop effective communication skills and confidence among peers.

For instance

, it has been proven true that children who go out often and interact with other personalities have a higher level of self-esteem compared to introverts.

Thus

, being sociable comes with having more

outside the house

Add a hyphen

outside-the-house

show examples

exposure.

Moreover

, outdoor experiences help teens to nurture their sporting talents. To

further

illustrate, with engagement in football, tennis and other exercises, teens quickly build interest in various field events.

Such

talent can usher them into stardom as in the likes of iconic stars like Ronaldo, Messi and other footballing superstars.

Hence

, providing a means of livelihood and public recognition for the individuals in future In conclusion, there seems to be a rising trend in in-house games which is causing concerns, but I believe that encouraging teenagers to have more playful field experiences is more beneficial.

Submitted by joshuaosarenmwinda on Sun Jan 30 2022

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task response

Ensure that the essay directly addresses the question prompt and provides a clear opinion in the introduction and conclusion.

coherence cohesion

Maintain a logical flow of ideas throughout the essay by using appropriate transition words and connecting sentences to enhance coherence and cohesion.

17
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

302 words

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Children today are too dependent on computers and electronics entertainment it would be better to encourage them to spend more time outside playing sports and games. Do you agree or disagree?

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at a primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages??

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A government has a responsibility to its citizens to ensure their safety. Therefore, some people think that the government should increase spending on defense but spend less on social benefits. To what extend do you agree?

Online shopping seems to be replacing the traditional method of buying. However some buyers are sceptical of this practice. Discuss both benefits and risks associated with online shopping.