Children today are too dependent on computers and electronics entertainment it would be better to encourage them to spend more time outside playing sports and games. Do you agree or disagree?

In recent times, there have been concerns about the increasing dependency of kids on indoor technology-enhanced fun.
However
, some people argue that children should be playing more outside which I completely agree with.
This
essay shall discuss the negative impact of video games and
then
the benefits of open-space activities followed by a reasoned conclusion
thereafter
. Currently, it is not uncommon for young ones to remain inside their houses all day
while
engaging in social networking and video games as a form of relaxation.
As a result
, less time is devoted to physical activities necessary for healthy
leaving
Correct your spelling
living
show examples
.
For example
, a recent study has shown that there
is
Wrong verb form
has been
show examples
an increasing trend in childhood obesity and diabetes in the
last
decade contributed solely by a sedentary lifestyle.
Therefore
, it is important to emphasize a healthy lifestyle through outdoor sports.
Secondly
, open-space play,
encourage
Correct subject-verb agreement
encourages
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one to develop social skills.
Accordingly
, through physical
contacts
Fix the agreement mistake
contact
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and mingling with friends, the young folks are able to develop effective communication skills and confidence among peers.
For instance
, it has been proven true that children who go out often and interact with other personalities have a higher level of self-esteem compared to introverts.
Thus
, being sociable comes with having more
outside the house
Add a hyphen
outside-the-house
show examples
exposure.
Moreover
, outdoor experiences help teens to nurture their sporting talents. To
further
illustrate, with engagement in football, tennis and other exercises, teens quickly build interest in various field events.
Such
talent can usher them into stardom as in the likes of iconic stars like Ronaldo, Messi and other footballing superstars.
Hence
, providing a means of livelihood and public recognition for the individuals in future In conclusion, there seems to be a rising trend in in-house games which is causing concerns, but I believe that encouraging teenagers to have more playful field experiences is more beneficial.
Submitted by joshuaosarenmwinda on

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task response
Ensure that the essay directly addresses the question prompt and provides a clear opinion in the introduction and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Maintain a logical flow of ideas throughout the essay by using appropriate transition words and connecting sentences to enhance coherence and cohesion.

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