IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that dangerous criminals should spend the rest of their lives in prison, while others think that everyone deserves a second chance and that these offenders should be reintegrated into society. What is your opinion?

#people #criminals #rest #lives #prison #second #chance #offenders #society
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Generally speaking,
criminalistic
Add an article
the criminalistic
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 topic has always been in
a
Correct article usage
the
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 spotlight of our
society
.
Everyday
Replace the word
Every day
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 we see on the news a wide range of crimes committed around the world, which fact has turned into
biggest
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the biggest
a biggest
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 concern of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
. What to do with inmates once their sentence is finished? In front of
this
 dilemma, on one
hand
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,hand
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 there is
opinion
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an opinion
the opinion
show examples
 that dangerous criminals should
been
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be
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 sentenced
for
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to
show examples
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
.
On the other hand
, there is a version of giving a
second
 chance and
reintegrate
Wrong verb form
reintegrating
show examples
 them into
society
. In the following
paragraphs
Add a comma
,paragraphs
show examples
 I will discuss
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
both sides of the argument until to draw a conclusion. To start, it is crystal clear why so many
people
 support
live
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the live
show examples
sentence
Fix the agreement mistake
sentences
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.
In
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On
show examples
 many occasions it was seen that some dangerous inmates maintain criminal life once being
in
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apply
show examples
freed
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free
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, it seems that
large
Correct article usage
a large
show examples
 sentence does not correct their
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 and for
this
 reason, civil fear increase between community when there are convicts in liberty. Sticking to the point that many offenders should spend
rest
Correct article usage
the rest
show examples
 of their lives in prison, that will provide peace in the streets and increase
of
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apply
show examples
civil protection. Contrary, we should take into account that nobody
born
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is born
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 perfect, it is
natural
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a natural
the natural
show examples
 action of human beings to commit mistakes but the most difficult part is to recognize bad actions and forgive
people
 for them.
In other words
, everyone
commit
Change the verb form
commits
show examples
 mistakes and deserves a
second
 chance, so
people
 should forgive each other and help to integrate ex-convicts
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
.
Besides
, sometimes jail is not the best option to correct the conduct of inmates, in
fact
Add a comma
,fact
show examples
 it was proven that
people
 with little crimes become more criminal because of
rough
Correct article usage
the rough
show examples
 conditions of the jail. From my point of view, it is difficult to choose a side in regards to
this
 argument. I reckon that each crime should be studied and judged by
it
Change the pronoun
its
show examples
 seriousness. And
finally
, once
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
freed, ex-prisoners should be tracked and reintegrated
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
society
 by governments aids.
Submitted by eugenia.naz12 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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